Communications #4

May 2, 1992

I. Case Studies

- break into groups and go over case studies

- goal is:

a) review four rules--make them "part of you"

b) practice applying them/using in real life
situations

II. Circuit Jammers

(give Wayne credit and recommend book - "Your Family God's Way")

A. Passages

- break into groups

- go over passages (handout based on verses from pp.
59-61 in Wayne Mack's book)

- identify which "circuit jammer" is listed in each
verse

- see answers on enclosed sheets from Wayne's book

B. Other examples of circuit jammers

1. blatant lying

"yes, I'll do that" but they don't

"I didn't do that" but they did

"I was only kidding" when they meant every word

"I'm sorry I forgot to do what you asked me to
do" when they're not sorry and they didn't
merely forget.

2. lethal exaggeration

"you never want to do what I want to do"

"You're always late"

"You'll never learn"

3. misrepresentation

cf. Hagar comic strip - goes to doctor who says,
"You're fat and flabby, for a man your age, I'm
amazed at the shape you're in!"

- wife asks - "what'd the doctor say?"
- Hagar says - "He said for a man my age, he
can't believe the shape I'm in."

- a person could have misrepresented Paul by
changing some punctuation:
"Let him that stole steal, no more laboring
with his hands the thing which is good..."

4. sidetracking

- when no one issue is thoroughly discussed

- any time you get close to an area where the
person needs to change, they change subjects
and get you on another track

5. verbal slamming

- this is OK in Ping Pong, but it's not right
when communicating.

- Prov. 15:1 - "A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger."

6. cancellation speech

- "That was a good meal, why don't you cook that
way more often?"

- "Thanks for calling me when you knew you'd be
late. I just can't understand why you don't
do that all the time."

7. gunpowder speech

- Prov. 18:6 - "A fools lips bring strife, and
his mouth invites a beating."

- Wayne illus - complimented a counselee on how
well she completed her PDI. She replied with,
"well, isn't that the way you're supposed to
fill them out?"

8. ventriloquist speech

- parents "speaking for" children or spouse
"speaking for" other spouse

- answering questions that were asked of somebody
else

- finishing the story

- "what he really meant was"

9. final-word speech

- know it all

- has to have the final word

- can't stand to have someone disagree

10. excessive negative talk

- constantly complain or find fault

- gloom and doom speech