Communications #6

- we've been studying what the Word of God says about
communication

- we've studied:
1) the four rules of communication
2) we've talked about "circuit jammers"

- last week we began talking about non-verbal communication
- some studies indicate that as much as 55% of our
communication one another is non-verbal
- of course there's no way to verify that and I'm not
throwing it out as "gospel truth," but there's no
question that non-verbal communication makes up a
significant percentage of how we communicate with one
another

- if that percentage is anywhere close to being accurate,
it's imperative that we give this subject some serious
consideration
- last week we looked at a number of passages of Scripture
that illustrated different kinds of non-verbal
communication (or different things that could be
communicated non-verbally)
- INPUT - what were some of those passages or things that
could be communicated non-verbally?

- we tried to make two important points about this kind of
communication last week
- one had to do with the way we send non-verbal messages, and
the other had to do with the way we receive them

- INPUT - what was the point about the way we send them? (we
are responsible for this area of our life)

- INPUT - what was the point about the way we receive them?
(this area can be easily misunderstood)

- Kevin Doerr is going to come with an illustration of this
second point.

III. Categorizing non-Verbal Communication

A. INPUT - as a group, list as many kinds of non-verbal
communication as you can.

- maintaining eye contact
- avoiding eye contact
- rolling eyes
- stern look
- pleasant look
- frown
- smile
- smirk
- pout
- worried expression
- angry expression
- fearful expression
- sloppy dress
- neat dress
- backing off
- standing close
- seating positions
- use of time
- use of finances
- how we laugh
- what we laugh at
- willingness to help others
- spirit/manner in which we help
- how we listen
- our presence/absence
- attempts to avoid communication

- Come back together - put lists together

- now I'd like you to take those ideas and organize them in
two categories

B. non-verbal behavior that hinders effective
communicating

C. Non-verbal behavior that enhances communicating

IV. Non-verbal Charades

- in the time we have left, we're going to try some non-
verbal charades.

- small groups - each is assigned an item from the list
below. They are to discuss how that item could be
communicated non-verbally and design a skit to illustrate
the principle.
- each group will present their skit to the class.
- one person should be designated as the non-verbal
communicator.
- the other group members can talk during the skit, but
the designated non-verbal communicator cannot.

- Score - 1 point for every one that is answered correctly
(while your team is observing). One point for every
team that answers yours correctly (while you are
giving the skit).
Love
Happiness
Peace
Uneasiness
Fear
Sadness
Indifference
Apathy
Anxiety
Anger
Frustration
Irritation
Discontentment
Unbelief
Doubt
Humility
Guilt
Disinterest
Hurt
Confidence
Cautiousness
Trust
Pride

- Summary points to remember about non-verbal communication

1) Regularly ask what your non-verbal communication is
"saying" to others.

- this is an area that many of us don't think much about.
- we need to get in the habit of concentrating on this
more than we do.

- it would probably be good to ask some people close to
you what kind of "non-verbal signals" you typically
send, and what you could do to change that.

- one of the purposes of the skits was to show how
difficult it is to consciously think about:
- how to communicate non-verbally
- what the best way is to get the message across in
the way that is easiest to understand by others.

- It's important that we regularly ask what this area of
our lives is communicating to others.

2) Be honest about what's happening "inside."

- let's take a minute and think about "why" our non-
verbal communication doesn't always match up with what
we're saying with our lips.

- Proverbs 26:23-26, 28

- these verses are talking about a person who is saying
one thing with his lips but something completely
different is going on the "inside"

- it's possible to not want to face up to what I'm really
thinking, wanting, feeling -- especially when those
thoughts, desires, emotions are wrong or bad
- the tendency for some of us is to cover them up or deny
them instead of dealing with them biblically

- often that results in a conflict between verbal
communication and non-verbal communication

3) Know when to explain

- there are appropriate times to explain to others why
you might be communicating non-verbally in a certain
way

- cf. the husband who comes home and is "quiet"

INPUT - what might be some reasons for his "quietness"

INPUT - what might that communicate to the wife?

INPUT - what does he need to do to be sure his non-
verbal communication isn't saying the wrong thing to
his wife?