I Corinthians 13:4-8

- tonight we're going to continue our study of I Cor. 13 and
Growing in Biblical Love
- we tried to emphasize two primary steps this morning that
must be taken if we're going to grow in this important area

- the first step comes from the meaning of the word Paul
used here for love.

1) Understand love's definition

- (?INPUT) - What are some of the things the world is
saying about what love is?

- finding lasting love is hopeless
- love is a reservoir of feelings that will probably
dry up.
- love is only possible when you learn how to be a
taker.
- love is an absence of problems.
- love is a relationship that makes you feel better

- the point is - unless we're careful, the world's
way of viewing things can surely rub off on us.

- God's kind of love is "a choice of the will to
sacrifice oneself to meet the needs of the other
person for the glory of God."

- so we must understand love's definition

- INPUT - what was the second step we need to take from
verses 1-3?

2) Make love a priority.

- this can't be a subject we might get around to some
day.
- Paul says, without love, I am becoming nothing, I
am nothing, and I accomplish nothing.

- tonight, we're going to study verses 4-8 where Paul says
the third crucial step in growing in biblical love is:

I. Put On Love's Characteristics

- let's read verses 4-8 (READ)

- I'd like to begin tonight by having us think about some
general observations on these verses we've just read.

(Introduction)

1) Paul lists 15 characteristics of love, 7 are stated in
the positive (love is...) and 8 are stated in the
negative (love is not...).

2) Each of these characteristics (in the original
language) are verbs.
- we're not going to take the time to do it tonight, but we
could go through and retranslate all of these
characteristics as active verbs.

- INPUT - for example, instead of saying "love is patient",
we could say what? (love behaves patiently)

- the fact that they're all verbs is another example of how
the Bible's view of love is so much different than the
American view of love.
- see, the Bible doesn't say - "love has this kind of
feeling"
- instead, the Bible says - "love does this kind
of thing."
- love is only fully love when it acts

- that's why John said in I John 4:18 - "Let us not love
in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth."

- what I'd like to do next is get the 15 characteristics "on
the table." -- then we'll talk about how we're going to
organize them.

- you notice in your notes that we have a chart that compares
the way the characteristics are listed in three Bible
versions.
- I'd like to do that for two reasons
1) There's some definite value in comparing the way
different translators viewed these words.

2) It will simplify matters greatly instead of
trying to clarify which word and which version
we're talking about as we study them in a
minute.

- let's attempt to fill in the chart
- I'll need help from folks who have the three different
versions.

- go through asking - INPUT - the first characteristic in
the KJV? How is that translated in the NASB? etc.

- now, the next thing we need to do is talk about how we're
going to study this list.
- I've organized these 15 characteristics aroung three main
points.
- the Scripture's inspired--my outlines are not
- but this should help us as we study

- I'd like to go through the list and tell you under
which Roman numeral we're going to discuss each
characteristic. (go through sheet)

- one last thing we need to say about these characteristics.
- I think our goal, as we study down through this list,
is to identify that one particular characteristic, or
maybe a couple of outstanding ones, in which I really
need to work.
(develop - may need to get help from other family members,
etc)
COMPARISON OF THE CHARACTERISTICS OF LOVE
IN THREE ENGLISH BIBLE TRANSLATIONS

KING JAMES NEW AMERICAN STANDARD NEW INTERNATIONAL
_____________________________________________________________

1. Suffers ______________ ______________
_________

2. _________ Kind ___________

3. Envies _____ Not ____________ Does not ______

4. Vaunteth not Does not ________ Does not ______
itself

5. Is not ______ Not ______________ Is not proud
up

6. Does not behave Does not act Is not ______
itself ________ ______________

7. Seeketh not its Does not seek its Is not self-
_______ own ____________

8. Is not easily Is not _____________ Is not easily
___________ angered

9. Thinks no ______ Does not take into Keeps no _____
account a wrong suffered of wrongs

10. Rejoices not in Does not rejoice in Does not de-
___________ _______________ light in evil

11. Rejoices in Rejoices with Rejoices with
truth ______________ ___________

12. Bears all Bears all things Always ______
__________

13. Believes all Believes all _________ Always trusts
__________

14. Hopes all Hopes all things Always _______
things

15. _______ all _________ all things Always _______
things
- let's organize the first set of characteristics around this
idea:

A. Loving People Have The Right View of Themselves

- Paul says, loving people:

1. don't brag (they don't vaunt themselves)

- we're talking about a person's attitudes towards
their successes
- their abilities

- practically every Sunday when we're lining to come
into the auditorium, one of our pastors looks at one of
the brass players and says - "don't toot your own
horn."

- now that's a little "pastor joke," but the bottom
line is - some folks do just that--they toot
their own horn.
- they parade their own accomplishments.

- Paul says--that's a very unloving thing to do.

- now the Corinthians were notorious for that
- they wanted the showy gifts so they could show off
- everybody was vying for attention and approval

- they were braggarts

- INPUT - From our definition of love, what about
bragging makes it unloving? (emphasis on
self)

- of course our model in this area, like in all the
characteristics of love is our Lord.
- Paul said in Phil. 2:5 - "Let this mind be in you which was
also in Christ Jesus, who being in the form of God,
thought it not robbery to be equal with God, but made
Himself of no reputation...

- see, can you imagine what it would have been like if
you or I were the Lord, and we had come down from
heaven to earth.
- I think most of us would have done exactly
opposite of what these verses say our Lord did.

- we would have "made ourselves of lots of reputation"
- we would have made sire everybody understood exactly who
we were.
- demanded first class treatment
- demanded to be addressed a certain way, and
treated a certain way.

- but our Lord was the picture of Love--as a result--his
focus was on others--He never bragged.

- closely aligned to that: loving people:

2. aren't arrogant

- they're not puffed up

- let me ask you to look back at chapter 4, verse 6
where Paul uses sarcasm to address this unloving
characteristic of arrogance in the Corinthians.

- READ 4:6-8

- INPUT - in addition to our Lord, can you think of
another Bible character who exemplified this
quality?

John the Baptist - John 1:27 - "It is he who
comes after me, the thong of who's sandal I am
not worthy to untie."

John 3:30 - He must increase, but I must
decrease.

- Q - How are you doing on these first two characteristics?
- loving people have the right view of themselves.
- they don't brag and they're not arrogant.

- would those around you say that you're loving in
those ways, or are you always looking for ways to
make yourself look good?

- Let's take a brief diversion.

- these concepts can also be applied to dating.

- INPUT - what questions could these characteristics
generate that would be very helpful in selecting a
mate?

1) Does the person talk about him/herself all the
time?
2) Are they threatened when you accomplish
something?
- Do they build that up or tear it down?

- another idea that fits under this heading is:

3. aren't rude (They don't act in an unbecoming way)
- love has good manners

- Input - how does this characteristic tie in with
our definition of love?

- now the Corinthians had violated this one as well.
- we saw that a couple of chapters back when we
studied their abuses at the Lord's table.

- they didn't even love each other enough to wait
till everybody arrived before they started the
meal.
- they also weren't concerned about the fact that
some folks didn't have enough to eat.

- they were rude--they didn't have any manners.
- my guess is that some of us men are going to have to
work on this one.
- the last characteristic under this heading pretty much sums
up the others: loving people:

4. don't seek their own

- see, look not every man on his own things, but
every man also on the things of others.
- loving people don't seek their own

- have you ever thought about what words will be
engraved on your tombstone?

- here's one man who apparently didn't know much
about biblical love. His tombstone read like this:

Here lies a miser who lived for himself
and cared about nothing but gathering wealth
Now, where he is and how he fares
nobody knows and nobody cares!

- see, Paul is saying that loving people have the right view
of themselves.
- they don't brag, they're not arrogant, they're not
rude, and they don't seek their own

- Can I ask you, does that describe you?

- Are you a loving person because you have the right view
of self?

- if you are working on these areas - you'll surely stand
out from the world.

- the world has actually gotten to the place where
many say that love actually begins with selfishness.
- because of that, some of the most extreme forms of
selfishness are now heralded as being acts of love.

1) Some are saying that abortion is really love.
- it's a mother loving herself properly and realizing
that raising a child doesn't fit into her plans.
- some even pass it off as love for the child.
- the mother wouldn't be able to raise it properly
so the most loving thing to do is to take the
child's life.

2) Others are saying that homosexuality is love:
- where some, in rebellion against God and nature are
saying, I must express my love in a way that pleases
me.

3) Some say that divorce is loving.
- I don't think we can work out our problems or I don't
have the same feelings for that person so the best
thing for everyone involved is to divorce.

- My point is that in our world, love has been so twisted so
that the characteristics the Bible clearly describes as
unloving are now heralded as genuine love.

- is it possible that that's rubbed off on us?

- I think John MacArthur's right when he says, "Often when
we say 'I love you', what we really mean is, 'I love me
and I want you."

- Biblical lovers are those who have a right view of
themselves.

- this next one I'd like to do quickly--but it is very
important.

II. Loving People Have The Right View of Truth

Paul says - biblical lovers:

A. Don't rejoice in iniquity

INPUT - what are some ways a person might "rejoice in
iniquity?

- of course the other side of that is:

B. Do rejoice in the truth

INPUT - What are some ways a person can rejoice in
the truth?

- let's think about one other question under this point:
- INPUT - how does our relationship to truth affect our
ability to love?

- so loving people have the right view of themselves,
- they don't brag, they're not arrogant, they're not
rude, and they don't seek their own
- they also have the right view of truth
- they don't rejoice in iniquity, but they rejoice in the
truth
- lastly,

III. Loving People Have the Right View of Others

- under this point, I'm going to be condensing 9
characteristics into 5--I'll try to make it clear which
original word we're discussing.

A. Kind - v. 4

word literally means - "useful, serving, gracious"

- while patience will take anything from others,
kindness will give anything to others.

- loving people have the right view of others -
they're to others

- does that describe you - are you a kind person?
- do others think of you as kind?

- our world gives us plenty of opportunities to be
kind.

- Jesus said in Matt. 5:40-42 - And if any man
will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him
have thy cloak also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a
mile, go with him two. Give to him that asketh thee, and from
him that would borrow of thee turn not away.

- so our world gives us plenty of opportunities to be kind--
question is--do we take them?

- of course the Scripture also has a lot to say about the
kindness of our God.

Romans 2:4, I Peter 2:2-3, Titus 3:4-6 are some examples

- love has the right view of others because it is kind

B. Envies not - v. 4

- love is not jealous

- envy can take two forms:

1) I want what someone else has.

- that envy/jealousy can be over practically
anything.

- INPUT - what are some things a person may
be jealous over?

- so one form is - "I want what someone else has."

- the other form is:

2) I wish they didn't have what they have.

- that’s what happened in the parable of the
laborers in Matt. 20
- the men worked different periods of time but
all received a day's wage.

- the men who worked a full day looked at those
who only worked a few hours, and instead of
rejoicing at their good fortune--they were
jealous--they envied.

- Proverbs 27:4 says - "wrath is cruel, and anger is
outrageous, but who is able to stand before envy?"

- see, are you like that?

- hey, maybe its just in some little ways:

- "it must be nice..."
- to have so and so.

- the Bible calls that sin.
- it calls it envy
- it calls it a lack of love.

C. Patient

- I'm combining two phrases here
- from the KJV - "suffers long" in verse 4, and "is
not easily provoked" in verse 5

- that first word is very picturesque.
- makro/thumew
- macro - much/long
- thumew - passion/in this case - sinful
anger

- patience is holding off sinful anger for a
long period of time.

- that’s what loving people do.
- they're patient
- they give others time to grow

- they realize that God has been patient with
them, therefore they should be patient with
others.

- Jonathan Edwards was a great theologian and pastor during
the Colonial period.
- Edwards had a daughter who had a terrible problem
with her temper.

- one day a young man came to ask Edwards for his
daughter's hand in marriage.

- Edwards said, No you can't have her. She's not ready
to be married.

- The young man protested - he said - "But she's
a Christian, isn't she."

- Edwards said - "The grace of God can live with
some people with whom no one else could
live."

- see, she wasn't patient.
- she had no handle on her anger.

- Prov. 22:24 - "Make no friendship with an angry man,
and with a furious man thou shalt not go."

- loving people are people who are learning to handle their
anger.
- they're patience (holding off any sinful anger for a
long period of time)

- Is that the way others would describe you?

D. Gives the benefit of the doubt

- I'm combining here the phrases from verse 7 "love
believes all things, love hopes all things, love
endures all things."

- love gives the benefit of the doubt

- of all the characteristics of love, this is one of the
ones we see violated the most.

- here's some ways it's violated:

1) by assuming you know what someone is thinking
without getting any facts.

- Are you that kind of person?

- your spouse comes home from work and the
neighbor tells him a joke in the driveway.
- he comes in with a smile on his face, and
you (having just gone to the beauty parlor
that day) - say; "See, I knew you wouldn't
like it--get that smirk off your face."

2) by putting the worst possible spin on whatever the
other person says.

- husband's been working late but he gets home on
time this night.
- He comes home and his wife says "honey
it's great to have you home tonight."

- He snaps back - "Oh, quit nagging me. You know
It hasn't been my fault I've had to work late
this week."

3) by putting the worst possible interpretation on
someone's actions.

- this seems to happen a lot with extended family
members.

- people assume the worst without having any
facts.

- a sister-in-law calls to wish a person happy
birthday.
- wife gets off the phone
- husband asks - who was that, honey?
- (snotty) your sister!
- (sheepishly) what did she say?
- she wished me happy birthday
- what's wrong with that?

- she was rubbing it in - everyone knows
she's younger than me.

4) accusing with no facts

- wife comes home a little late -- the lines were
long at Wal-Mart.

- then she has to go through 20 questions
- who'd you met
- you're having an affair, aren't you
(poor spouse wants to say - yea, with Sam
Walton himself!)

- the bottom line is - we need to see that as a lacl of love
- love gives the benefit of the doubt

- it believes all thinks--it hopes all things--it
endures all things

- lastly, love is:

E. Forgiving

- I'm taking that from "thinks no evil" in verse 5
and "bears all things" from the beginning of verse
7

- the KJV translation of "thinks no evil" may sound
like that should go with the previous point.
- but the word literally means - "does not keep a
record of wrongs.
- it's forgiving

- that’s what bears means in verse 7
- it could literally be translated "covered"

- see, love doesn't keep records

- these are accounting terms.
- the same words are used to speak of what God
doesn't do with us.

Rom. 4:8 - Blessed is the man whose sin the
Lord will not take into account.

II Cor. 5:19 - God was in Christ reconciling
the world to Himself, not counting their
trespasses against them.