I Corinthians 7:10-16

- tonight we're continuing our study of I Cor. 7
- two weeks ago we looked at the first part of the chapter
and studied biblical principles of sex
- tonight we're going t0 look at verses 10-16 and study
"Biblical Principles of Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage"

- let me remind you of something we said last time about the
way we interpret these verses

- one of our principles of Bible study is that we determine
what kind of literature we're studying

- INPUT - what is unique about the way chapter 7 is set up?
(answers to questions that the Corinthians had asked Paul
in a former letter)

- INPUT - Because that’s true - how does should that affect
the way we seek to understand this passage)

1) should recognize that Paul is giving a full
treatment of the subject addressed.

2) Because these are specific answers to specific
questions, we must be careful not to draw
general conclusions that the writer never
intended us to draw

- following the unity principle will help keep
us on course

- the subject we're talking about tonight is critical
- one out of every two marriages ends in divorce and if
you're going to have a church in the nineties, you must
deal with this issue
- there's probably not a person in this room who has not been
affected by divorce in one way or another
- either because you've been divorced or a friend,
family member, etc.

- God has been very gracious in that He's given us answers on
this subject to help us please the Lord in this area like
all others

- let me make three quick statements to help guide our
discussion tonight

1) My goal is to primarily study I Cor. 7:10-16, not
everything the Bible says about this subject. We will
refer to some of the key parallel passages and I've
considered many others in preparing our study, but this
could easily blossom into a 8 week study and that’s not our
intent at this time.

- if you'd like to do some additional study...(rec.
booklets and handouts)
- (make the point about how that’s one of the great
things about consistent leadership - a great wealth
of materials to use)
2) There are folks who take a different position on this
subject than us.
- Our church has tried to be careful about studying the
Word of God thoroughly before taking a position.
- we believe we're right and we have a number of
biblical reasons for our position on this subject.
- however, there are literally dozens of possible
positions on this subject, and we recognize that
other folks who are godly individuals and
accomplishing much for the Lord may hold a position
different than ours
- this shouldn't be a position that divides the
brethren
- we fellowship with a lot of people who see this issue
differently

3) Our goal tonight, after understanding what the
verses say and mean - is to find specific applications
for each one of us.
- regardless of your position on divorce and remarriage,
there are some very clear issues that emerge from this
passage that should help each one of us identify ways
we can be changing and growing.

- READ 10-16

- it's important that we see that Paul is talking to three
different groups of folks here
- that’s the way we're going to divide our outline
- I. God's word to believers married to believers
- II. God's word to believers married to unbelievers
who want to stay (in the marriage)
- III. God's word to believers married to unbelievers
who want to divorce (don't want to stay in
the marriage)

- tonight - God's word to believers married to believers

- so let's start with:

I. God's Word to Believers Married To Believers - (His word
to them is) Don't Divorce

- I'd like you to notice that Paul makes an unusual
statement in verse 10 when he says "I command, yet not
I, but the Lord"
- let's take a minute and talk about what that means

(next week we will look at the other side of that where Paul
says - "But to the rest speak I, not the Lord" - that one
can be confusing so I want you to know I am planning on
dealing with that next week when we come to it)

A. Meaning of "...Yet not I, but the Lord..."
- Paul's reminding the Corinthians that the issue of
believers married to believers was directly
addressed by Jesus Christ
- undoubtedly, He's thinking about passages like
Matt. 5:31-32, Matt. 19:4-12, and the parallel
passages in the other gospels where our Lord said
things like the verses we have in your notes
- in those verses, the Pharisees had a debate going
- one group said you could divorce your wife for
any reason - the other group said it could only
be for repeated adultery for which the person
refused to repent

- so they came to Christ and said - "Is it lawful for
a man to put away his wife for any cause?"

- Jesus answered (Matt. 19:4-6) - "Have you not read that
He who made them at the beginning, made them male and
female; And said, For this cause shall a man leave His
father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and the
two shall be made one flesh?

- INPUT - Paul was quoting Jesus - and Jesus was
quoting who? (God the father in Genesis 2:24
- then the Lord said - "Wherefore, they are no more two but
one flesh - What therefore God hath joined together, let
not man put asunder."

- so the first point anyone needs to make about this subject,
regardless of their position on divorce and remarriage is
that God's plan is for one man to be married to one woman
for life

- God the Father said it, God the Son it, so the apostle Paul
repeats it:

B. Command - Don't divorce!

- Paul wants to be so clear on that, that he repeats
the command from both perspectives
- v. 10 - to the Christian wife - don't depart
(don't divorce your believing husband)
- v. 11 - to the Christian husband - don't put
her away (don't divorce your believing wife)

- I think we need to ask then:

1. where did divorce even originate?

- the answer is not - God originated it

- let me ask you to turn to Deut. 24:1-4
(READ)

- some folks want to use this passage to say
that God instituted divorce
- that’s not true - God is simply regulating
a practice that’s already going on
- the Jews were divorcing their wives and
sending them away, leaving that woman in a
position where she couldn't support herself,
she couldn't remarry, and she was open to
any slander and gossip anyone wanted to make
her the subject of

- God said no - I don't want you to divorce, but
if you're going to - here's the way you have
to do it

- now, a moment ago, we read verses 4-6 from Matt. 19

- the Pharisees responded to Jesus by saying - "then
why did Moses command to give a writing of
divorcement"

- Jesus set them straight on that by saying (verse 8)
"Moses, because of the hardness of your heart
permitted you to put away your wives, but from
the beginning it was not so."

- that's why Malachi 2:16 says - The Lord hates divorce

- now we'll talk about some of the exceptions and
special cases in a moment and also next week, but
let's just "chew on what we've bitten off for a
moment"

- God says to believers who are married - Don't divorce

- now, some things ought to happen in our hearts when we hear
that

- for one thing, this ought to give us a tremendous amount of
hope

2. gives hope

- INPUT - why is this true? (because God would
never tell us to do something that is
impossible to do)
- when folks want to act like believers - there's
no problem that can't be solved
- no issue that can't be addressed and handled

- now I realize someone may be here tonight and
say - God has been very cruel in giving this
command
- that person probably has never experienced a
divorce

- divorces aren't cuts - they're rips
- and a loving God...
- who knows us better than we know ourselves
- who loves us more than we could ever know
- has been very kind and gracious in
putting this roadblock up on the divorce
trail and saying - Believers married to
believers - you can't go down this trail
- you must, and you can, solve marriage
problems biblically

- in addition to giving us hope, this truth also ought to
call us to commitment

3. calls us to commitment

- knowing you're going to have something for a
long period of time dramatically changes your
comitment to it

- Kris and I recently had to have some work done
our blue car that cost about $300
- that’s been a great car
- for a number of reasons, we've decided to keep
that car for a good while to come

- that affected the way we viewed that bill
- we're committed to keeping the car
- we're not even thinking of trading it in
- so we've got to get the one we have fixed

- that’s the problem with some married couples
- they're so busy looking at the possible marital
trade ins that it affects their commitment to
the current model - their current spouse

- Kris and I decided long ago - we'll never use the
word divorce - not even in jokes
- surely not in threats
- that subject is off limits

- Kris knows - she's stuck with me
- we better work on making our marriage the best it can
possible be - because we're committed to obeying these
verses

- now I'll say this - being married to Kris makes that easy,
for which I'm very thankful
- Kris grew up in Elkhart and her pastor was Dan Gillete
(whom some of you know)
- I went to college with Pastor Gillete's boys - so he knows
both Kris and I

- recently we saw Pastor Gillette at a conference and he
put his arm around me, looked at Kris - and said,
"that’s the best thing that ever happened to you,
Viars"
- I'll tell you, humanly speaking - he's absolutely right

- I think all of us who are believers married to believers
need to ask - Are we living out the practical
implications of these verses?
1) Do you have hope that problems can be solved - and
are you godly and courageous enough to roll up your
sleeves and find biblical solutions to those
problems?
- see, its the weak man that goes out and finds
another woman
- its the sissy that sits around and fantasizes
about how much better it would be being
married to someone else
- it doesn't matter if the world holds that kind
of person up as being macho, cool, tough, a
"real lover" and all that
(almost like - stick a Marlboro cigarette in
his mouth and you've got a real man)

- it doesn't matter if the world holds the woman
who would go out and find somebody else as being
"with it", or being the "nineties woman"

- God's kind of man - and God's kind of woman has
the strength, godliness, and the faith, and the hope
- to get busy and get those problems solved

2) Are you committed to not using the "D" word?
- some Christians are always holding the divorce trump
card
- they're always holding that over their spouses head
- they stomp out of the house and squeal the tires
out of the driveway and nobody knows where they've
gone
- or they say - well, we'll just divorce
- go find somebody else

- God says to believers - don't divorce

- INPUT - what is going to be impact on the children in
Christian families where dad and mom say "we're
going to live in accordance with this principle and
its implications?

- another thing we could say about this command is:

4. is a word of caution for singles

- INPUT - why is that true?
- (marriage is for life - there's at least one thing
worse than not being married - and that’s being
married to the wrong person)

- INPUT - in fact, when the disciples heard what Jesus
had taught in Matt. 19 - do you remember what they
said? (Lord, it's better for a man not to marry)

- of course they were taking the principle too far,
but that demonstrates that they understood the
seriousness of Jesus' statements
- don't divorce

- now, I think we have to honest with the Scripture and say
that the Lord did give an exception to the verses we've
been looking at from Matt. 19

- there are three things that end a marriage, biblically
speaking
1) death
2) the exception we're about to study
3) desertion - which we'll study next week

5. Jesus' exception to this command

- turn to Matt. 19:9 (read)
- Matt. 5:31-32 (read)

- the word that is used there is the word "porneia"
from which we get words like pornography
- in the Bible, the word is used to describe all sorts
of sexual sin

- now, you might say - well, what do folks who don't
believe in any biblical reason for a divorce do
with these verses?

- the answer is - they try to do something with the
meaning of fornication so that the verses don't
apply today
- some say Jesus was referring to the Jewish
betrothal period - others have other views

- bottom line is - Jesus did give an exception clause
here - and he used the word that refers to general
sexual sin

- therefore, while the general principle is that God
wants believers to remain married for life, he does
allow (not command) divorce in situations where a
spouse is involved in on-going sexual sin for which
he/she will not repent

- now, there are some things we need to say about that:

a. does not apply in cases where the person
repents

- when someone repents - the other person must
forgive
- forgiveness involves reconciling that
relationship
- a person can't say - I forgive you - now
get out of the house cuz I'm going to divorce you

b. divorce is not commanded in this case

- these situations need to be evaluated on a
case by case basis
- in many cases, even when the exception
clause makes divorce possible - it may not
be the best route to take

c. divorce surely should not be the first step

- INPUT - what should the person do first?

Matt. 7:1

d. this is not a weak view of marriage - it's a
strong one

- some folks want to say that the position
I've just shared with you is a weak view of
marriage

- that’s simply not true
- it's the person who would tell a believer
that they have no recourse
- even when their spouse is in the house
one week, gone the next
- or committing gross sexual sin

- ...the person who says the spouse has to
stay in that situation and subject the
children to kind of lifestyle who has the
weak view of marriage

- there's one other thing we need to look at in these two
verses, and that is:

- what happens if someone violates this command?

C. Command to those who violate the first command

Paul says that person has two options:
INPUT - what are they?

1. remain unmarried

2. be reconciled

unless:

- the other person is still an unbeliever

- person married someone else, now wants to
marry you again (Deut. 24:4)