The Wife's Role, Part 1
Introduction:
1. We’re continuing our series: Taking the Next Step with Joy & applying this year’s theme to our Marriages & Families
2. This is an important series for a lot of reasons:
Input: Why are we having this series? [various answers]
- Because God gave marriage (His idea) and it can/should bring glory to Him!
- Because marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship to the church
> the Gospel is impacted by the way we conduct our marriages and
- Because of the ‘influence’ of marriage
> kids watching along w/extended family / bro & sisters in Christ (Church Family) / friends
3. Last week, we concluded our series on “The Role of the Husband”
- guys, my prayer (our prayer) ought to be that EVERY man who heard that teaching will step up to the plate and be a REAL MAN (like Jesus) and fulfill his role as a husband
Q: Why is it important for the husband to fulfill his role?
- Influence – on the wife/kids/church family/friends!
- Accountability – [Judgment Seat of Christ (stewardship of your role/opportunity)
Q: GUYS: Can we say as Jesus said “FOLLOW ME” (mention our Men of Faith 2010 Theme!)
4. We know we are in a spiritual warfare, and Satan doesn’t want us [Men/Women] to bring ANY glory to God
- Satan hates godly men (why do you think he goes after the leadership in the home?)
- Matthew 12:29"Or how can anyone enter the strong man's house and carry off his property, unless he first binds the strong man? And then he will plunder his house.
- so we have to be on the alert AND working hard to obey God’s Word
Q: What did you learn from last week’s lesson on a husband being a LEARNER of his wife?
[Homework assignment REVIEW: 50 Questions to Ask Your Wife]
5. Remember our goal is to glorify God and to strengthen our marriages, families, and our church!
- We cannot over emphasize this:
* Strong Christians and Strong Marriages and Strong Families = Strong Churches!
6. If FBC is going to be STRONG (growing, serving, outreach, bringing glory to God), we have to be strong in our relationship with Christ & have strong marriage relationships & strong families where:
- Problems are being solved (Gen. 3 “bush living” vs. 1 John 1 “walking in the light”)
- Jesus Christ is the CENTER of attention – Matt. 6:33; Col. 1:18
- The goal in life is please God by being like Jesus Christ – 2 Cor. 5:9; 1 Cor. 10:31
Testimony: TBD – NOTE: We do this every week – a different couple will share 1 or 2 biblical truths that have helped them in their marriage and/or a practical lesson that God has taught them that has helped their marriage
7. NOW IT’S TIME FOR A TRANSITON – Guys are you happy? Today we begin the ROLE OF THE WIFE!
- Ladies: Are you ready for this? READY OR NOT . . . .HERE WE GO!!!
- serious, guys, each one of us should be praying for our wife (daily, together, now in ABF)
[Open your bible’s to: READ - Genesis 2:18-25; Ephesians 5:22-24,33; 1 Peter 3:1-6
1. To understand the various roles in marriage, you really need to go back to the beginning with Genesis 1.
- Genesis 1 establishes God as the Creator and therefore lays the foundation for biblical authority – if Genesis 1 is not true, then rest of the bible comes into question!
- But because God is the Creator, He gets to determine the specific purposes for His creation.
- Paul clarifies that in Romans 9:20-21:
- Romans 9:20-21 On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, "Why did you make me like this," will it?Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use?
> The obvious answer to the question in v. 20 is ‘NO’ & the answer in v. 21 is ‘YES’
Point: Creation is God’s idea and marriage is God’s idea . . . and the purpose for each person’s role within the marriage relationship is God’s idea!
2. After the Lord created the heavens & the earth and man (then breathed into him the breath of life, and then made Eve) notice His words in Genesis 1:31 to sum up all that He had accomplished:
- Genesis 1:31God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.
- Since all those flow from the mind of a holy God, He doesn’t have the ability to make a mistake.
- So if we deviate from what He has established, we are the ones that are wrong, not God!
- I think you would agree that . . .
3. One way to measure the spiritual condition of a church is their submission to God’s authority . . . and that applies to every area of life, including the marriage relationship!
- that’s why we’ve been emphasizing: Strong Marriages . . . Families = Strong Churches
- Of course the overall goal is to bring glory to God as we fulfill the Great Commission outlined in Matthew 28:19-20
> making disciples – but part of the discipleship process applies to marital relationships and growing in that area)
- Part of the ‘teaching them all things’ would especially include teaching about marriage – the foundation of marriage, various roles in marriage, how to grow and make a marriage stronger.
4. A good question to ask would be: Q: Do the ladies in the church who are married understand their role as a wife and are they rejoicing about it and seeking to GROW in obedience and bring glory to God?
- true joy in found only in being what God wants us to be and doing what God wants us to do!
Four key concepts to help a wife understand her role in the marriage relationship:
1. The Wife’s PURPOSE: To be a “helper suitable” for her husband– Gen. 1:26-31; 2:18-25
- Before we get into the specifics of this truth, let’s answer this question:
Q: Why is it so important to understand one’s purpose?
- Purpose provides direction (the course you take, where to go, what you are to do)
- Purpose promotes effectiveness (how much you accomplish, meaningful)
Example: Jesus – He understood His purpose and left His throne to John 1:14
- John 1:14And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.
. . . AND Jesus accomplished that ‘mission’ when He cried out “IT IS FINISHED”
- Now, let’s focus on the term ‘helper suitable’
A. What does this term mean?
- Helper Suitable (NAS) = lit. one who helps – but the term also communicate the idea of completing, complementing, corresponding to, fitted perfectly to, custom-made to meet needs
- This term is used several times to describe God being my “help” or “helper” – Examples:
- Psalm 22:19But You, O LORD, be not far off; O You my help, hasten to my assistance.
- Psalm 54:4Behold, God is my helper; The Lord is the sustainer of my soul.
- Psalm 94:17If the LORD had not been my help, My soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence.
- Hebrews 13:6so that we confidently say, "THE LORD IS MY HELPER, I WILL NOT BE AFRAID. WHAT WILL MAN DO TO ME?"
Point: The term is a positive term, not a negative one – no one should view the purpose of a wife as being demeaning or making the wife as inferior to her husband!
B. God designed the wife’s role for a unique purpose.
Q: What specific areas does the wife need to focus on to fulfill her unique purpose for her husband?
1. Unique in companionship – Gen 1:26-28; 2:18, 20, 24
- Because we are made in God’s image (Gen. 1:26-27), we are relational beings, therefore, we have the ability to experience and develop relationships
- Genesis 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."
- Genesis 2:20 . . . but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.
> the first and most important relationship (besides our relationship to God) is the husband/wife relationship
- Also, the fact that God created Adam and Eve WITHOUT children communicates a strong message about the priority of relationships
> The wife is the husband’s unique companion . . . his BEST friend!
- God calls marriage a one flesh relationship (not a team, or partners, but ‘one flesh’)
> In a sense, we ought to be ready for a fight when someone else tries to take away that unique purpose designed by God for the wife . . . and nobody else!
* There are 3 specific areas of companionship where the wife can fulfill her unique purpose:
a. Help her husband intellectually
- She can help her husband think through issues and can give him good advice/counsel because she knows him better than anyone else!
- She understands, better than anyone else, how he thinks (Note: NOT what is in his heart, but his habits or patterns of thinking)
Note: Eve failed to do this in Gen. 3 – she was deceived and deviated from God’s truth/command (Gen. 2:16-17)
b. Help her husband emotionally
- God made us emotional beings (feelings, in and of themselves, are not sinful) but those emotions are cursed by sin and we can’t trust them)
- So the husband needs to be careful about developing emotional relationships w/other women – whether that’s in the work place, the church, or even in friendship with other couples
Note: Eve failed to do this in Gen. 3 – Adam was afraid (emotions were cursed by sin) and Eve hid in the bushes with him!
c. Help her husband spiritually
- The wife was given to help the husband to bring glory to God spiritually, not to participate in rebellious acts against God’s clear commands (Gen. 2:16-17)
- Eve failed in Gen. 3 to fulfill her unique purpose given by God
> while Adam was still responsible for his choices, it was his wife who presented him w/the fruit from the tree
[Note: We’ll discuss this more under IV. The Wife’s Potential – 1 Pet. 3:1-6]
2. Unique in the sexual relationship – Gen. 1:28; 2:25
- Genesis 1:28 God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth . . . “
- We don’t have to go into depth to explain how that happens, but there is no other person who can have sex with your husband and be pleasing to God!
- Remember, sex is God’s idea, and it can be enjoyed AND done to the glory of God (glory = to give the right opinion):
- Genesis 2:25And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.
- To be naked together, to have sexual relations without guilt . . . but not only that . . .
> but knowing that what you are doing actually pleases God, the Creator, Who designed us this way!
3. Unique in responsibilities – Gen. 1:28
- God told Adam to subdue the earth – this was one of the 1st responsibilities God assigned to Adam
- This was basically Adam’s ‘job’ and it was Eve’s role to help him in this process!
- Of course, if we keep reading the Scriptures, we find in the NT that we are given spiritual gifts and we are to use them in the church for the glory of God and to edify one another
> some may call that ministry . . .
> the bottom line is, the wife is to help her husband in each of these areas of God-given responsibilities (his job, his ministry in the local church, etc.)
4. Unique in parenting – Gen. 1:28; 2:24
- Being ‘fruitful’ and ‘multiply’ implies children, and part of the parenting process is clearly articulated in Gen. 2:24 where a man is to ‘leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife’
- A wife needs to remember that she and her husband are a ‘one flesh’ relationship, and she has great influence on the children
- This process starts at birth and the wife (mom) can have significant influence on the kids
Conclusion:
Q: Do you understand your purpose?
Q: Are you willing to do whatever God asks you to do in order to fulfill that purpose?
Q: Is there anything in your life that would hinder you fulfilling that purpose?
Q: What do you need to DO that will help you take the next step with joy in fulfilling your role as a wife?
PRAYER TIME:
- Man for the men
- Woman for the women
- 1 person for our Marriages/Family
