5 questions to measure if our speech is pleasing to the Lord
I. What Is the Nature of My Words?
Ephesians 4:29a - Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good.
A. The nature of unwholesome words
Mark 7:17-23 - When he had left the crowd and entered the house, His disciples questioned Him about the parable. And He said to them, “Are you so lacking in understanding also? Do you not understand that whatever goes into the man from outside cannot defile him, because it does not go into his heart, but into his stomach, and is eliminated?” (Thus He declared all foods clean.) And He was saying, “That which proceeds out of the man, that is what defiles the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man.”
B. The nature of good words
Proverbs 16:24 - Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
II. What Is the Purpose of My Words?
Ephesians 4:29b - “…for edification…”
A. Our words can tear down
2 Timothy 2:16-17a - But avoid worldly and empty chatter, for it will lead to further ungodliness, and their talk will spread like gangrene.
B. Our words can build up
III. What Is the Context of My Words?
Ephesians 4:29c - “…according to the need of the moment…”
A. Needs that consider self
B. Needs that consider others
Colossians 4:6 - Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.
IV. What Is the Effect of My Words?
Ephesians 4:29d - “…so that it will give grace to those who hear.”
A. Passing judgment on others
Matthew 7:1-2 - Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.
B. Giving grace to others
V. What Is the Motivation of My Words?
Ephesians 4:30 - Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
A. Our words can grieve the Holy Spirit and break unity
Isaiah 63:7-10 - I shall make mention of the lovingkindnesses of the Lord, the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has granted us, and the great goodness toward the house of Israel, which He has granted them according to His compassion and according to the abundance of His lovingkindnesses. For He said, “Surely, they are My people, sons who will not deal falsely.” So He became their Savior. In all their affliction He was afflicted, and the angel of His presence saved them; in His love and in His mercy He redeemed them, and He lifted them and carried them all the days of old. But they rebelled and grieved His Holy Spirit; therefore He turned Himself to become their enemy, He fought against them.
B. Our words are meant to please the Lord and build unity
C. The gospel should inform our words
I. What is the Nature of My Words?
Notice what Paul says in verse 29 –
Eph 4:29a – Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good.
Paul has in mind…
A. The nature of unwholesome words
A kind of speech that is worthless. – Sapros, which is a reference to rotten food. [Please insert pic: https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1139305000/photo/rotting-fruit-and-vegetables.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=cWW7hUgBSA_Wq3eSIjS90lLhgTuELkTJOVxEQKVpxBE= ]
Virtually all of us here today are naturally repulsed by rotting food - PLEASE INSERT PIC - https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-53b714d2a6294a8b97cfb434858c16f4
Were you aware that eating rotten food was trending back in 2021? Now, I don’t believe the trend lasted too long – but the thought of eating rotten food ought to be repulsive to us as rotten food, yes?
And as we walk in the new nature given to us, worthless talk becomes out of character with the newness of life we now possess.
That is to say, we are to strip away, as it were, the kind of language that is filthy – foul – the kind of language that is obscene – dirty - coarse jest – the kind of language lets out a curse here and there – it’s the kind of unholy talk carried on by unredeemed humanity.
The obscene mouth may range from off-colored humor to dirty jokes, from immoral suggestions to outright propositions for sex.
Our mouths are not bear the resemblance of "an open sepulchre [grave]" (Ro. 3:13). An open grave is foul, and it is a symbol of corruption.
A man with a foul mouth is likened to an open grave; his filthiness causes corruption, the decay of character. The filth from his mouth decays and corrupts his character and he becomes an offense to his hearers and like a decaying corpse, the living will hear it and be repulsed.
The foul, filthy mouth kills character, its attractiveness, trust, faithfulness, morality, honor, and godliness.
“And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.” (James. 3:6)
“Shun evil companions,
Bad language disdain;
God’s name hold in rev’rence,
Nor take it in vain;
Be thoughtful and earnest,
Kindhearted and true;
Look ever to Jesus,
He will carry you through.”
The Lord will help you grow with how you talk – because that is part and parcel of our behavior. But also pertaining to attacking the problem of a given situation or circumstance, rather than the person.
B. The nature of good words – brings about a purpose
II. What is the Purpose of My Words?
I would hope it is such that it is for the purposes of that which is good…
Eph 4:29b – “…for edification…”
– are as such that rather than to attack a person, we attack the problem that brings about a good purpose.
Is to speak only that which is good and which will edify or build up people. Speech is for the purpose of sharing good things - of building up and strengthening people - of ministering grace (favor, blessings) and helping each other as we plow through life.
“They said to each other, did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?” (Lu. 24:32)
A. Our words can tear down
B. Our words can build up
III. What is the Context of My Words?
Eph 4:29c – “…according to the need of the moment…”
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” (Pr. 25:11)
“The words of a wise man's mouth win him favor, but the lips of a fool consume him.” (Ec. 10:12)
“addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with all your heart,” (Ep. 5:19)
“How forceful are upright words! But what does reproof from you reprove?” (Job 6:25)
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Ps. 141:3)
“They shall speak of the glory of your kingdom and tell of your power,” (Ps. 145:11)
“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” (Pr. 16:24)
“The words of a wise man's mouth win him favor, but the lips of a fool consume him.” (Ec. 10:12)
“The Lord God has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him who is weary. Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear to hear as those who are taught.” (Is. 50:4)
A. Needs that consider self
(give more commentary to congregation)
B. Needs that consider others
(give more commentary to congregation)
IV. What is the Effect of My Words?
Eph 4:29d – “…so that it will give grace to those who hear.”
A. Passing judgment on others
B. Giving grace to others
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” (Pr. 25:11)
V. What is the Motivation of My Words?
Eph 4:30 – Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
The Spirit was given to us as a sign and seal of our belonging to God – He is the ever-indicative reminder of the fact that my behavior belongs to him as well.
If it is true that the Spirit of Christ dwells in you and I who name the name of Christ, then it stands to reason that we are no longer what we once were, but in our sealing we were also made new creatures in Christ – I have new motivations for my dealing with any and all circumstances in such a way that people see God, the hope of glory in me.
The believer is to strip away the garment of being contrary or of grieving the Holy Spirit. Grieving (lupeite) means to pain; to offend; to vex; to sadden the Holy Spirit. When a child acts contrary to the counsel of his parents, he hurts and grieves them.
So when a person acts contrary to the counsel of the Holy Spirit, he hurts and grieves Him – and will act if sin goes on unrepentant with a thunderous conviction bearing down upon a person’s soul and providential move to chasten that child of God until he is humbled and seeing clearly once again the beauty of the Savior.
A. Our words can grieve the Holy Spirit and break unity
There are at least four ways the Holy Spirit can be grieved.
1) The Holy Spirit is grieved when believers allow impure things to penetrate their life or thoughts, and even engage in sinful acts
“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot.” (Ro. 8:5-7)
2) The Holy Spirit is grieved when believers behave immorally.
“So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” (Ro. 8:12-13)
3) The Holy Spirit is grieved when believers act unjustly.
“But Peter said, Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land? While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal? Why is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to men but to God.” (Ac. 5:3-4) 4)
He is grieved when believers participate in anything contrary to the nature of the Holy Spirit.
Recall the context of this passage: the command to "grieve not the Spirit" is surrounded by a series of negative commands.
“Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.” (Ro. 8:8-10)
The reason we should not grieve the Spirit of God is because of His great ministry to us: He has sealed us until the day of redemption
B. Our words are meant to please the Lord and build unity
C. The gospel should inform our words
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