[Download Polemic Theology: How to Deal with Those Who Differ with Us]
Suppose that you and I had an extended conversation where I had the privilege of hearing your entire life story…
so we were in comfortable chairs…
had a good cup of coffee or whatever beverage you really like…
time wasn’t an issue…and my role was just to listen and take notes on whatever you had to say
so, undoubtedly you would talk about your parents, the city in which you were born…the narrative might be positive, it might be negative, it might be a mixture…but the way you remember – and the way you talk about the circumstances into which you were born…
you’d talk about your siblings if you had them…and again, the narrative might be positive, it might be negative, it might be a mixture…but the way you remember – and the way you talk about your siblings…
it was also be interesting to learn what events really stand out to you…that time your sister did something unusually kind…or your brother did something unusually mean (I realize those genders could be reversed, but let’s leave it that…)…
then we could layer on your memories from school…did you like it, not like it…were they good memories of school or not…what teachers stand out and why?...
perhaps you’d talk about sports or other extra-curricular activities…what this coach said or this other team did…
and we could do the same thing right on through your entire life – marriages, moves, job changes…the key events that have contributed to or shaped who are today…
in other words, you’ve just given your life story…your narrative from your perspective…
now can I ask you a hard question…are you absolutely certain that everything you just told me was completely correct…or maybe to use an even stronger word – are you sure everything you just said is entirely true?...
Now, you might say – well, how would we know?...
1. I can think of at least 2 answers to that question…
first, we could bring in eyewitnesses – you said such and such about your sister…let’s bring your sister in and hear her side of the story…
you said this about your coach, you said this about your boss, …about your ex…
do you believe there would be complete alignment with everything you say and everything the eyewitnesses testify?...
what’s the answer to that question?...no…
so what would we have to conclude?...somebody is not telling the truth…
or what’s a bit stronger way of saying that?...somebody is lying…
either you were minding your own business in third grade math and the bully behind you stuck your pig-tail in an inkwell…
or you called the boy behind you a big fat pig…and then he stuck your pig-tail in an inkwell…which would be a delightful example of elementary school karma when you just stop and think about it…
those are two very different versions of what occurred…and both of them cannot be true…
2. Now I realize you might say – I don’t like this line of reasoning…here’s the second approach we could take…we could ask the Lord of heaven and earth, hypothetically, of course…
but let’s just suppose that you or I laid out our respective narratives…and then we asked the Lord…the One who is known in the Bible by the way as…He who is Faithful and True…we asked the Lord His understanding of what actually occurred…
let’s call He takes out His “Steve Viars file”…or the “your name file”…
would there be complete alignment in those narratives…yours and His…would you care to answer that out-loud?...
since the honest answer to that question is no…now what are we going to do?...
should we say – well, that is because the Lord is not telling the truth…(He lies, you know…)…anyone want to shout that one out right here in the Lord’s house on the Lord’s Day while the rest of us dive for cover?
if it’s not that, then where does that leave us?...
we don’t always tell the truth, do we?...
or what if we said it stronger?...we sometimes…lie…
and then we could ask – what impact does that have on relationships in general…and what impact does it have on unity in the church?...
with that in mind, please open your Bible to Ephesians chapter 4…page 152 (FE) (1172 – FW and FN) of the front section of the Bible under the chair in front of you…
our church’s theme this year is Building on Our Heritage
we’re having some pit stops along the way for some of our special holidays and I appreciate the work and creativity that is being put into each one of those events…
but our primary study this year is a verse-by-verse treatment of the book of Ephesians…
we’ve pointed out numerous times that this book follows a very clear division where chapters 1-3 focus on who we are in Christ, our identity or the gospel indicatives…
then chapters 4-6 speak to how God wants to live because of who we are are…the gospel imperatives or commands…
that makes the transition between chapters 3 and 4 that much more important Paul emphasizes the issue of unity in the church…
and all you have to do is look around our world to see why this is necessary to discuss…
if it is true that we were spiritually dead…and that the church is going to be comprised of various ethnicities and economic levels and all sorts of differences…is having a church that stays unified for very long even possible?...
the answer is absolutely – that’s how powerful our new life is in Jesus Christ…Paul says… Ephesians 4:1–3 Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
there’s a sense in which much of what we read through the rest of the book should be considered through that particular lens…
how will this principle impact the unity of the church?
most recently, we spent a couple of weeks on one of the most important passages in the New Testament on progressive sanctification, or spiritual growth…Ephesians 4:22-24…
those verses contain a contrast between the unsaved lifestyle in verse 22 and the saved lifestyle in verse 24…
which helps us in a couple of ways…
first, it tells us that the primary characteristic of the unsaved life is that it is feeling/desire oriented…and the primary characteristic of the saved life is that it is principle/truth oriented (develop and apply)
we also learn the three step principle for change and growth…put off, change thinking, put on…the principle of replacement…
(develop – the two quizzes…and apply)
let me mention one quick diversion here lest you study this later and ask, hey, how come our pastors didn’t talk about this?...
there’s a minor disagreement among Bible students about whether verses 22-24 should be interpreted positionally (in other words – describing something that has already happened -“you have put off the old man and put on the new man, positionally) or interpreted practically (this is something you need to do – put off sinful habits and replace them with godly ones)…
the reason that’s an issue is because of the tense of the Greek verbs
the infinitives (to put off, to be renewed, and to put on) are all in a tense that usually discusses actions in the past
which is why some Bible students believe that verses 22-24 already happened at salvation
however – these infinitives can also be used to emphasize a present a present command…so it’s not something that happened positionally, it’s a process that you work out practically…
here’s the bottom line – our church has tended to believe that the latter is the case…but I want to be sure in case this comes up in your Bible study at some later date – 2 things:
1. Good people differ on this
2. Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter…because both ideas are clearly taught in other places in the Word of God
Romans 6 is the clearest place that discuss the put off / put on principle positionally…
but even right here in the verses that unfold…you see clear emphasis on the put off / put on principle being worked out by God’s people practically…
one other idea before we read our verses…Paul’s about to give us what we traditionally call the 4 rules of communication…
isn’t it interesting that in a passage about unity in the church, and immediately after very clear instructions about how God’s people are to change…we’re given rules about what?...communication…
and why do you think that is?...James tells us…
James 3:2, 6-8 – For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well…And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison.
in part, because we don’t always tell the truth with it…[in fact, you might want to look in the mirror later today – stick out your tongue and say – you know tongue, sometimes you lie, and that’s really not very good]
these rules have been a great blessing to our church family for the last nearly 50 years…
[could tell about how members have even used them in the workplace…cf. the St. E nurses’ station]…
so we’re talking about Communication that Unifies – Part 1 – Be Honest
let’s read beginning at Ephesians 4:17 (read 4:17-32)
so we’re talking about Communication that Unifies – and with the time we have remaining, let’s look for – 3 principles to follow as we seek to communicate more truthfully
I. Be Committed to Putting Off Falsehood.
there’s no doubt by time we get to verse 25 that we’re talking about present tense commands…
and how do we know that?...and please keep in mind that every word in the Bible is equally inspired…and equally important…it’s the word…
Ephesians 4:25 – Therefore…
because of the marvelous principles we’ve just learned in this crucial passage on progressive sanctification in verses 22-24…therefore…because of that…in response to that…here’s what people like you and I are supposed to do now…
Ephesians 4:25 – Therefore, laying aside falsehood…
it might serve us well to start putting that on our to do list every day…
I’m going to brush my teeth…I’m going to read my Bible…
I’m going to feed the cat…and I’m going to put off falsehood…
because what’s the assumption in this passage?...that’s you’ve got some to lay aside…
it’s not – lay aside falsehood in the first few weeks of your Christian life and then you’ll be good…no, this is a daily process until God takes us home…
a teacher’s aide was telling me once about a student she had who had a quiz that was printed in the front and back…
and the student had only completed the front page…and she said something like – don’t you want to turn your paper over and answer the questions on the back…
his response was – no, I’m good…
actually, he wasn’t good…
and neither are we if we believe this process is over for you or me…
laying aside falsehood is a task to which we’ve been called until God takes us home…
these words putting off and putting are a clothing illustration…it would be like if you checked yourself in the mirror this morning before coming over to the church-house and saw that you had a big spot of salsa on your shirt from your breakfast burrito…
I doubt that you’d say…oh, I’m good…
no, you’d clean off the spot or put something else on…
and that leads us to a clear question – are you committed to putting off falsehood…and what practical evidence would you give from last week or last month that would justify that answer?...
now, why is this so important?
A. Because bearing false witness is a violation of the ninth command
how many commandments are there?...ten…
and would it be fair to say that studying the ten commandments gives us crucial insight into what is especially important to our Holy God?...
and what’s the ninth one… Exodus 20:16 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
do you remember what happened right after that?... Exodus 20:18 All the people perceived the thunder and the lightning flashes and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they trembled and stood at a distance.
that’s called – having the fear of God in ya…yet some people who call themselves Christians lie day after day after day and don’t seem to think a thing about it…
this was so important to the Lord that He wanted it written on a tablet of stone…twice by the way…and those tablets were kept inside the ark of the covenant to signify the centrality of those ideals to the covenant God was making with His people…
no wonder the apostle Paul would want us to take this matter of regularly, daily seeking to put off falsehood very, very seriously…
it’s also important…
B. Because discerning truth from lies has been a core concern from the dawn of man’s creation.
what instrument did our adversary use to tempt and trick Adam and Eve into sin?...lies…
Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?”
Genesis 3:4 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die!
the point is – this issue of how God’s people discern what is true is literally as old as the Garden of Eden…
which is also interesting, by the way, back to Moses and the Ten Commandments…once the children of Israel cross the Red Sea…and have their foray in a couple of chapters of grumbling and complaining…
we have an entire chapter devoted to a discussion of what Moses’ days were like…do you remember what we find him doing?...this was when Moses’ father-in-law came to visit…
Exodus 18:13 It came about the next day that Moses sat to judge the people, and the people stood about Moses from the morning until the evening.
to judge in what sense?...he was judging disputes, because one person said one thing was right and true…and his neighbor had an entirely different version…
so Scripture goes on to say -Exodus 18:14–16 Now when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he was doing for the people, he said, “What is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge and all the people stand about you from morning until evening?” Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God. “When they have a dispute, it comes to me, and I judge between a man and his neighbor and make known the statutes of God and His laws.”
so what does that tell us, if Moses is spending so much time in that kind of pursuit?...
the importance of the truth being told…
along with what becomes a central theme in God’s Word…the role of eyewitnesses…
Moses isn’t just listening to one side, is he?...because if you value the truth, all sides have to be heard before an adjudication is made…
here’s a third reason this is so important…
C. Because of the ultimate source of lies
do you remember what Jesus said about this… John 8:44 You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
friend, does that amp up the importance of this topic for you?...it should, both positively and negatively…
we’ll have more to say about gossip in a moment…but here’s a haunting thought – imagine 2 people gossiping about someone else…where the person being gossiped about has no opportunity to give their side of the issue…
because, you can mark this down – gossip traffics in lies…which is why it can be so destructive in a church…
imagine 2 people walking away from yet another gossip session…and the whisper from heaven is – you just did the work of the devil…again…
no wonder Paul calls us to daily work at putting off falsehood…then there’s the…
D. Because of the ultimate destination of liars
Revelation 21:8 is a fascinating and haunting verse, because it says… Revelation 21:8 “But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”
friend, isn’t it stunning that liars are in that list?...
surely that should communicate to us how important our God views this topic to be…
and to be clear, this doesn’t mean that if you or I ever tell a lie, we’re not going to heaven…because if it did, heaven would be a very deserted place…
but a person who has no concern for what we’re studying this morning…that person has no reason to believe he or she is truly a child of God…
and there’s just a clear question that comes bursting forth from this verse…how much of an emphasis are you placing on putting off falsehood?...and what would be different in the days ahead if that became more of a concern in the days ahead?...
now, what’s the other half of the command?...
II. Be Equally Committed to Speaking Truth with Those Around You.
Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor…
the reason this second half is in all caps in many of our English translations is because it’s a quote of Zechariah which is a beautiful passage about the millennial kingdom (at least in our way of thinking about the end times)…
but God says… Zechariah 8:3 “Thus says the Lord, ‘I will return to Zion and will dwell in the midst of Jerusalem. Then Jerusalem will be called the City of Truth, and the mountain of the Lord of hosts will be called the Holy Mountain.’
would it be fair to say that’s not entirely happened yet?...
then He says a few verses later… Zechariah 8:16–17 ‘These are the things which you should do: speak the truth to one another; judge with truth and judgment for peace in your gates. Also let none of you devise evil in your heart against another, and do not love perjury; for all these are what I hate,’ declares the Lord.”
God wants us to be people who are committed to speaking the truth…and please connect that to what we saw in the days of Moses nearly 3500 years ago…
A. Considering whether your position could stand the test of eyewitnesses
maybe it would be wise for us to develop a stronger habit of asking – that story I’m telling right now, if the other people involved were present, would their version – assuming for the moment that they were telling the truth…were the eyewitness version match mine…no wonder Solomon said…
Proverbs 18:13 He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him.
Proverbs 18:17 The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him.
you know, I’ve had the privilege of counseling a number of people who will hear this message…that goes along with being at the same church for a long period of time…
and you know this – if you ever came in to tell me a story that included someone else…what happened next…we need to bring the other person into the conversation…(unless there is a very strong reason why we shouldn’t)…
and some of could testify that even if your spouse was an unbeliever, or your boss, or your neighbor…we would still try to get their side of the story before deciding what to do next?...
in Zechariah language – that’s a foretaste of millennial kingdom conditions being present in the church of Jesus Christ now…
now I hope by about now all of us are saying…oh my…this is a tough one…and it is…which is why we can and should…
B. Crying out to our Savior for guidance and strength
it is impossible to do this in a way that pleases God apart from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ…
I did not say that a non-Christian can’t tell the truth…because that’s not the case…
but without faith, it is impossible to please God…the writer of Hebrews tells us…
and that takes us back to this being grounded in one of the ten commandments…
those commandments were not given so that we could perfectly obey them and earn our way to heaven by our own merit…
they were given to expose our sin and direct us to a merciful, forgiving God…
and what do we find when we do that?...
Ephesians 4:20–21 But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus,
aren’t you glad that our Savior is… John 14:6 Jesus *said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
the book of Revelation tells us of a day when…Revelation 19:11 And I saw heaven opened, and behold, a white horse, and He who sat on it is called Faithful and True, and in righteousness He judges and wages war.
this is why it’s possible for us to Ephesians 4:24 and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
friend, if you’re not sure that there’s been a definite time in your life when you admitted your need and placed your faith and trust in Jesus Christ – let your struggle with telling the truth be the route that draws you to Him…
Christian friend – this isn’t moralism…this is an acknowledgement that without Christ, we can do nothing…but with Him ruling and reigning…
Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
that’s why we can have hope in progressively growing in this area over time…
now, if we really desire this, we have to…
C. Giving careful attention to the narratives you are crafting in your heart
Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.
ultimately this is not a matter of the false words we might say to others…it’s a matter of the false narratives we repeat to ourselves…
not just, Lord Jesus – please help me to tell the truth…it’s much deeper than that…it’s Lord Jesus, help me think and believe the truth…
now, let’s tie this back into the broader context…
III. Be Concerned about the Impact this has on Relationships Inside and Outside the Church
Paul explains why this is so important… Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.
when Pastor Goode became our senior pastor 49 years ago, this church was only 11 years old…
but his testimony was, and the members who were here at that time would agree, that there were several different factions even though the church was much smaller…and an entire host of unsolved problems…
and on one of his very first Sundays…he taught Sunday morning and Sunday night of Matthew 18:15-18 about church discipline…
about a commitment to dealing with issues…but with the goal of getting to the truth…
Matthew 18:15–16 If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.
that set us on a trajectory of trying, certainly imperfectly, but trying to speak the truth to one another…because a church is a tightly knit family of people whose lives become so intertwined…which is why…
A. God hates “a false witness who utters lies”.
you might say – that’s strong wording…friend, that’s a direct quote from the bible…
Proverbs 6:16 There are six things which the Lord hates,
Yes, seven which are an abomination to Him:
what’s number 6?...Proverbs 6:19a A false witness who utters lies,
and what’s number 7 – Proverbs 6:19b And one who spreads strife among brothers.
there are so many upshots to this verse…we should zealously…
B. Pray and work toward “theological truthfulness”
because fundamentally we are -1 Timothy 3:15 but in case I am delayed, I write so that you will know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and support of the truth.
we also have…
C. Beware of the role of gossip
those who gossip and those who listen to gossip do so because there is no fact-checking
there’s no way to pretty it up…it’s liars listening to lies…
D. When “debating,” seek to represent the other person’s position truthfully
there are a lot of debates taking place these days in the Christian world, even among biblical counselors…
a theologian named Roger Nicole once wrote an article entitled Polemic Theology: How to Deal with Those Who Differ with Us
we’ve attached the entire article if you’ve like to read all of it, but one of my friends summarized one major point like this…
There is, therefore, an obligation, if we are going to voice differences, to make a serious effort to know the person with whom we differ. If that person has published books or articles, then we have an obligation to be acquainted with those writings. It is not appropriate for us to voice sharp differences if we have neglected to read what is available. The person who differs from us should have evidence that we read carefully what has been written and that we have attempted to understand its meaning. In the case of an oral exchange, where we don’t have the writing, we owe the person who differs from us to listen carefully to what he or she says. Rather than preparing ourselves to pounce on that person the moment he or she stops talking, we should concentrate on apprehending precisely what the other person holds forth.
that only happens when there’s a commitment to speaking the truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another…
I know that everyone within the sound of my voice wants us to be a unified church…and to enjoy peace and unity in the other relationships in your life…
to do that, let’s recommit ourselves to laying aside falsehood each and every day…and speaking truth…each one of you…with his neighbor…