Dealing with Disagreements

• What is more important…a broken collar bone or a hang nail…hang nails drive me crazy but I am going to go with a broken collar bone…

• What is more important a broken collar bone or a ruptured spleen

• Cardiac arrest or plantar fasciitis

Medical professionals have to do what is know as medical triage…where they focus on what is most important and treat that first. If you have an abnormal heart rhythm, they are not going to try to help your plantar fasciitis at this time…your heart is more important than your foot in this case.

Now can you imagine two doctors arguing over the best way to treat plantar fasciitis when a patient is in Afib…someone’s heart is beating 400 beats a minute and they are passionately debating whether golf balls are better to work out the tendon or if a frozen water bottle is the way to go…that would be ridiculous right…

In the body of Christ we need to be aware of what is known as spiritual triage, where we are able to discern biblically what is most important, so that we do not argue, criticize and disagree on tertiary things when items of first importance are at stake.

• Just as medical triage focuses on the health of an individual, so spiritual triage focus on the health of the body of Christ and the spiritual health of followers of Christ.

This summer, we are walking through a 12-week series on Handling Criticism as part of our annual theme of Growing in Gospel Gratitude.

We have freedom to discuss things, to give and receive constructive criticism, to talk about all sorts of interesting biblical truth, to seek to exalt the Lord in all sorts of ways…

We are free in Christ…but this freedom we have is freedom from being enslaved to sin and enslaved to live for ourselves…this freedom is not to become the basis for which we disagree so strongly and criticize unwisely and hurt each other.

Galatians 5:13 - For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Paul wrote the first letter to the Corinthians because there were disagreements in the church that were causing problems.

• And like a skilled triage nurse he is assessing the spiritual symptoms for each disagreement and giving the gospel-based response needed to nurse the congregation toward growth in unity and purity.

1 Corinthians 1:10 - Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and the same judgment. For I have been informed concerning you, my brethren, by Chloe's people, that there are quarrels among you.

Paul writes the letter to deal with disagreements in the church. There are divisions and quarrels related to the following:

• Disagreement #1: 1 Cor 1:10–4:21 – Division over teachers.

• Disagreement #2: 1 Cor 5:1–13 - Tolerating incest (sexual immorality).

• Disagreement #3: 1 Cor 6:1–11 - Church members were suing one another.

• Disagreement #4: 1 Cor 6:12–20 – Issue of sexual immorality being outside the body.

• Disagreement #5: 1 Cor 7:1–40 - Issues related to singleness and marriage.

• Disagreement #6: 1 Cor 8:1–11:1 - Issue of food offered to idols.

• Disagreement #7: 1 Cor 11:2–16 - Issue of head coverings.

• Disagreement #8: 1 Cor 11:17–34 - Issue of misusing the Lord’s Supper.

• Disagreement #9: 1 Cor 12:1–14:40 – Issue of spiritual gifts.

• Disagreement #10: 1 Cor 15:1–58 – Issue of bodily resurrection for believers.

To address the variety of disagreements, Paul grounds each response in the gospel. So, what can we learn about dealing with disagreements as we look at how Paul beings his response to the last disagreement of the letter in 1 Cor 15:1–6

READ 1 Cor 15:1-6

Disagreements between people in a family, at work, in church are going to happen…there are going to be different ways people think things should be done. The question is will the disagreement become most important, or will the Gospel, which is of first importance guide you in the way you process disagreements so that they do not become divisions, and a place of relational destruction….

• The reality is we need to make sure to focus on matters of first importance in order to not become mired in criticism and disagreements that stunt our growth in gospel gratitude.

So with our time this morning lets look at…

2 Keys to a Gospel-based response to disagreement

The first key is to..

I. Hold Fast to the Gospel

1 Corinthians 15:1-2a - Now I make known to you, brethren, the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received, in which also you stand, by which also you are saved, if you hold fast to the word which I preach to you.

• Paul deals with disagreements by directing our attention to what we are holding fast to, what you believe is of first importance.

• If you are holding fast to anything other than the gospel, it will not lead to the unity nor the maturity that God purposes for his people even in and through disagreements.

• You really need to grab onto the gospel as most important before the disagreements come…if you are not treasuring the good news of Jesus and who you are in Christ…then a great many things can take that prime position of importance in your heart and that can really destroy relationships.

• If you are in the middle of a disagreement, you need to make sure you refocus and make sure you are holding fast to the Gospel.

Notice how earlier in the book of 1 Cor, right at the beginning Paul sets the tone in an encouraging way to make sure the Grace of God and what was given by the Lord was front and center and How God had worked in their lives was going to be the grid by which they worked out all the following disagreements.

Paul says,

1 Corinthians 1:4-6 - I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus, that in everything you were enriched in him, in all speech and all knowledge, even as the testimony concerning Christ was confirmed in you.

• One of the realities is when we disagree, we often protect our own position…that is most important to us...being right…

• it is often my own position that has proceeded from my thinking and from my heart.

An important aspect of holding fast to the gospel is that we must…

A. Acknowledge that it is not your own (15:1)

Paul says…

1 Corinthians 15:1 - Now I make known to you, brethren, the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received, in which also you stand…

• He focus on How the Gospel is something outside of himself, it is not something he owns, that he is the author of, that He can copywrite as His original work…

• He is not territorial over it…he wants to share it with others…He will defend it, he cherishes it, but it is something he is holding to…and so he then can humbly cling to it and humbly recognize this is something he has received.

Later in Galatians he says…

Galatians 1:15 - But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother's womb and called me through his grace, was pleased to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles.

• He even talks about his calling in a way that is something he received, not something He produced.

• Artists, producers, all sorts of gifted and talented people often fight for creative control because they are putting their name on something they are making…and they often disagree on the best way to create something…

• Paul is saying the Gospel is something he received…and he is calling followers of Christ to hold onto What God has done, instead of holding fast to what they are trying to do…or holding fast to the best way they think something should be done.

as I said earlier…

B. Disagreement will accompany the gospel (15:2b)

We should not be surprised at disagreements…

In Ken Sande’s helpful book The Peacemaker [Insert Picture]

on page 30 he provides common causes of conflicts such as

• 1) misunderstanding from poor communication,

• 2) Differences in values, goals, expectations, interests.

This book could be an excellent resource for you to work through as you navigate some of the conflicts in your life.

• You see Paul knows that the gospel offers different values, has a different goal, and results in different expectation and interests.

• There are people who have been immersed in the Corinthian culture and there are many things that are very precious to them that they have to turn away from especially in a pagan lifestyle often marked by sexual immorality…

• …and the reality is some of the people who have heard the gospel may not have truly believed and so part of the divisions that can occur is that there are some who are not genuine believers who in their heart really treasure something other than Christ…they may have different goals than following Christ.

Paul focuses on the Corinthians salvation when he says…

1 Corinthians 15:2b - If you hold fast the word which I preached to you, unless you believed in vain.

• He acknowledges that there may be some that did not truly believe, they believed in vain or had empty belief or no belief, just lip service…and that could be a source of division where there are some not truly united around the Gospel.

• If you have been around the things of God, but you have never truly believed, I want to encourage you to genuinely place your trust, your faith in the good news of Christ…even today.

Because when folks genuinely believe in Christ, then…

C. Truth is a treasure to protect (2 Tim 1:14)

Paul says to timothy…

2 Timothy 1:14 - Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you.

• The treasure that has been entrusted to Timothy is not his personal opinion on what He thinks is best…it is the good news about the messiah Jesus Christ…and so it has also been entrusted to us…it is not our opinion on the best way to do something that has been entrusted to us…the treasure is the truth of the death, burial and resurrection of Christ.

• In any disagreement whether someone else is making sense, communicating kindly or not…we must hold fast to what is most important…and that is that Christ is exalted and the Gospel message is proclaimed.

• We are not seeking to guard our own name, or protect ourselves, but to guard the truth of Who Christ is and what He has done since we are His ambassadors…

• Paul is encouraging Timothy to not get sucked into all sorts of arguments over all sort of issues, but to not be ashamed of the testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ…

Paul wants Timothy to have a strong foundation…because…

D. Those who believe can stand on truth

1 Corinthians 15:1b -…the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received, in which also you stand…

If someone disagrees with you, at times it can shake us and we feel like we don’t have support…and we often desperately want everyone is our lives to agree with us, support us and reassure us…

How often has someone said something to you that was questioning a choice you made and it really bothers you…maybe it was something simple but you got really defensive as if you had to protect your decision.

• They said, are you going to wear that?

• Why did you load the dishwasher that way?

• Why did you buy a john deer?

• and we often argue to try to convince them that our way was really smart, or good etc…

…but As believers we have something more stable…We have objective truth that we can stand on … we are called to stand on the Gospel for our stability and security and not on agreement from other people.

The Gospel is more stable because it is…

1. Based on God’s work

Paul says in 2 Timothy…

2 Timothy 1:12 - For this reason, I also suffer these things but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.

The Gospel of John says nothing can snatch us out of the Father’s hand…I trust that the Lord can guard what I have entrusted to Him…I have trusted Him with my eternal salvation…and I believe He can guard that until I see Him face to face.

The Gospel is more stable because it is…

2. Based on our Spirit-empowered work

We are called to…

2 Timothy 1:14 - Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in you…

• Even though we are called to guard and treasure the gospel above all else as our responsibility…the Spirit who dwells within us empowers us to actually do that…

• so even when we have a responsibility, there is something more powerful than just our efforts going on.

So when we get into disagreements we want to focus our energy on discussing what is actually true…not just what someone thinks about something…if they like it or not…

• if someone says I like John Deer lawn mowers and you like Club Cadet Lawn mowers better…if someone says PC are better than Mac, or Levi’s are better than Arizona jeans, or the Colts are better than the Vikings…

• it is not worth arguing about because they are right, the Colts are better than the Vikings…everyone is better than the Vikings…it is so hard being a Vikings fan…and that is objective truth…

But seriously, in disagreements we often argue about preferences rather than what is objectively true…Paul in the Book of Romans spends 11 chapters unpacking the Gospel in all it’s glory states that…

Romans 1:18 - For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness.

• Many People in our culture don’t want to discuss if something is true, but rather what is popular…they want to suppress what is true and exalt what is popular and accepted by the masses…and one of the best ways of doing that is simply to pit people against each other on some topic, any topic pick a topic.

• We could take something incredibly simple and totally argue about it for the rest of the day…

• Try asking your family at lunch…is a hotdog a sandwich…and just sit back and watch everyone passionately defend their position, and then change their position, and then want to go and get a hotdog for lunch…

• I just want to encourage you to think about what you are holding fast to when you get into a difficult conversation…

• if you are looking for an opportunity to talk about Mankind’s sinfulness and how much we need a savior, and How Christ actually came and died and resurrected…

• that is going to guide you much better than trying to convince someone of your way of thinking or defend yourself…

1 Corinthians 15:3b - Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that He was buried, and that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.

• It is an objective truth, verified by eyewitnesses…historic information, that yes you have to trust and believe in...but it is trusting that a real person lived and walked and died and resurrected…

• Unfortunately what I often find when people have disagreements it is based on how they do not like what someone else is doing…it gets in the way of what they want and so then they have disagreements and arguments…

• and folks often want help navigating those disagreements, and what I have found that if folks will not reset and go back and hold fast to the gospel and recalibrate and say…Jesus being exalted through His life, death, burial, and resurrection is what I treasure, it is what I value above everything else…

• You can’t have a healthy disagreement with someone if YOU are not standing firm on the gospel and YOU are treasuring above all else what Jesus has done in your life…

So the first key to addressing disagreements well is make sure your heart is calibrated to hold fast to the Gospel …That is saying that the heart issue…the abnormal heart issue of mankind is the biggest issue and we need the great physician to step in and provide a way for mankind to be redeemed….

then after that you can decide if you want to fix the collar bone or the hang nail next…

The second key…is how do you then process genuine disagreements, that don’t focus on tractors or football teams, but on doctrine, theology, what it looks like to walk in a way worthy of the Lord Jesus…how do you…connect everything to the Gospel…so you can disagree at times but not divide….how do you…

II. Assess What Is of First Importance

Paul continually talks about the Gospel and how it is most important…

1 Corinthians 15:3a - For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received… [the gospel]

The reality is…

A. Not all disagreements have the same impact

- Part of the strategic ministry plan is to refresh Faith East campus…what color is the carpet going to be…at times questions like that can really divide churches, and we want to recognize that it is important to be a good steward of our facilities, but it is not a position to divide over if different people disagree.

Some disagreements are more important than others. So when you enter into a disagreement we want to again take a triage approach….we want to…

B. Respond based on gospel impact - Theological Triage

Here is an image that can help us think about priorities in theological disagreements.

So if you disagree…are you disagreeing on a category 1, category 2 or category 3 level.

Different churches stack up the different categories differently, but the point is have your thought about what category you are disagreeing in.

The first category, category number 1 is most important…this category really defines the essence of biblical Christianity, often it is referred to the fundamentals of the faith.

If I am talking with someone and they say they believe in Jesus, but that He was just a man and a really good example for us to follow…I can’t say well, that is just your opinion and that is how you feel, but at least we are both Christians and we love God, lets go get a latte.

I need to take a stand on the Gospel, Category 1..truth must be spoken, and I must lovingly put my relationship at risk to speak the truth about What Jesus says about Himself, that He is fully God and Fully Man…That as Colossians says the whole world was created by Him and for Him…{If Time: Trinity is not an apple or water}

Paul is address the disagreement of the bodily resurrection of Jesus…He is saying if it is just spiritual or symbolic, than we will not be physically raised and then this whole Gospel is not good news at all…so the bodily resurrection of Jesus is a first tier issue because without Jesus rising from the dead, we have no hope of the rising from the dead…The is a core part of the Gospel message…that he actually rose from the grave.

We really want to seek to communicate the gospel clearly and accurately…Recently my brother was talking to a group of religious people who had knocked on his door and one of the first things they said was that the Gospel was the good news how we are supposed to be better people and earn our way back to God…When someone says they must work their way to heaven by being a good person, I need to take a stand and reference Romans 3:28 and say with Paul that we affirm that a man is justified by Faith apart from works of the law…

I cannot affirm someone else’s theology that departs from category 1 and I cannot extend to them the right hand of fellowship in Christ…I cannot affirm their theology and their view of the Messiah, God, or salvation…I must disagree…because in essence it is false teaching that will lead others astray and deceive people regarding who God is and how one can be reconciled to him.

I don’t want to argue or disagree with people, but if I do…I want it to be about Category 1 since it is most important.

Now there are other things important that people disagree on, but they are not in category 1…these are category 2 issues…these are usually things the differentiate churches….How a church is structured, what you believe about the Lord’s supper, or even gender roles in the church or mode of baptism.

If you believe the bible teaches a specific way the church must be organized and the way ordinances are to be observed, than it makes good sense that you would join a congregation of like minded individuals in this area to live our your faith in community with based on those common beliefs.

Category 3 is often all about Christian liberty and areas of wisdom where people may disagree on various things…often this includes difficult texts that do not center around the nature and character of God or the Gospel…if you are in my ABF you know what I am going to say now…it is the old…who are the Nephilim question…this is something that people can disagree on exactly who the Nephilim are and still be in church together and recognize we are not trusting in the Nephilim for salvation. The Nephilim are (pardon the pun) not the largest issue.

So that discussion is a bit academic and I think that is good as there are objective truths that can be focused on in a way that really helps us navigate discussions and disagreements wisely…but even if I really know the bible well…we must…

C. Respond with a gospel witness

How we respond in tone, word choice, patience and gentleness is also important…speaking the truth in love is key to make sure that our priority in a disagreement is not to try to win a discussion, but to bear God’s image well and show what it is like to interact with a follower of Christ.

If you think about this text and the gospel, it can have a great impact to help you have a humble and winsome attitude and not be arrogant and try to win even if you know the bible well and even if you are in a category 1 discussion.

Think about how..

1. Christ died for our sins…

• When you remember that Christ died for our sins, how will that change the way in which you see the other person?

• Now I can see what we have in common before I focus on where we disagree. I am a Sinner in need of a Savior – so are they.

• Christ forgave me while I was still his enemy – now he calls me friend – but even if they are still an enemy of Christ – He calls me to love my enemy…

• Even if they have sinned against me – because Christ has forgiven me, more than I can even imagine, He calls me to stand ready to forgive this person regardless of what they have done to me.

• With Christ’s sacrifice in mind, I can overflow in love and be controlled by the Love of Christ and choose to love the other person even when we disagree.

2. He was raised on the third day…

• Christ’s victory over death gives me assurance of eternal life ..because Christ has power over death. So, there is eternal hope for what is to come…and I don’t have to put my hope in a conversation going well, or a person liking me…

• Just as Jesus was raised from the dead in a glorified body… believers also will be raised with imperishable bodies.

• I do not have to be victorious in every disagreement – because He has already been victorious at the cross…even after His resurrection, people did not believe…so I must trust that the Lord will use me in His timing and in his way.

3. According to the Scriptures…

• Paul appeals to the Scriptures and the witness of the gospel as the authority for addressing the disagreement over the bodily resurrection.

• Often in disagreements, we can spend lots of time talking about our thoughts and feelings, and very little time focused on the Scriptures.

• It is helpful to not try to convince someone with cleverness of speech or just sheer passion and force of personality…but recognizing the authority is in the word of God and the Holy will use the word to convict people and draw them to repentance…our job is to be faithful to communicate the truth of the bible clearly.

4. He appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. After that He appeared to more than 500…

• Yes we believe in the testimony of Christ…it is a matter of faith…but it is a reasonable faith that we can hold fast to because of the historical account of eyewitnesses.

• Hold fast to the gospel, for it historically verified by many eye-witnesses.

• Know that we have a reasonable faith and I can Hold fast to the gospel and then stand unashamed and proclaim the good news of Christ even if people disagree.

Lets pray to that end…