Dealing with Disagreements

I recently had the privilege to officiate the funeral service for my grandma, Judy recently. We mourned, but we were able to rejoice in the hope of the glory of God and that she is in the presence of her Savior Jesus, because of her faith in Jesus Christ.

She left an incredible legacy to us because of her faith in Christ and love for others. She reared 5 children, who are believers and even as she aged, Judy cared joyfully and sacrificially nursing for her mother as she suffered from Alzheimer's Disease for many years. I see how her care as a nurse was influential in my mom pursuing a career in nursing and both served as nurses for decades.

One of the responsibilities that you must do as a nurse is triage. You gather information, evaluate the symptoms and issues, then must make decision to prioritize which patients have issues first importance and priority for emergency care because life is on the line.

Then prioritize the resources and attention toward other issues.

Sometimes a disagreement regarding the treatment for such emergency priority patients is the difference between life a death. Other times a disagreement for medical care can just cause some discomfort, a little more pain, and a little slower time to recover and heal.

Similarly, in the church, we are going to face disagreements that effect the care and health of the church, and like triage nurses, we need to discern the cases of first importance to deal with disagreements with a gospel-based response. Please turn in your bibles to page 138, that’s in the back section of the bible under the chair in front of you.

This summer, we are walking through a 12-week series on Handling Criticism as part of our annual theme of Growing in Gospel Gratitude.

Where does this message fit into our overall series?

We began our series focusing on the Heart of the Critic and when Criticism comes from a rebellious heart. If left unaddressed, that critical heart and Spirit can become so divisive that as a church there is a process that God wants the church to follow for how to Handling the Divisive person. That’s the extreme case. Last week, Pastor reminded us that we have a responsibility as Christians to judge/to criticize one another when we are not pleasing the Lord, but we must carefully evaluate our hearts before criticizing others, otherwise we can be hypocritical in our spirit.

Today, God wants us to consider how to evaluate a variety of disagreements that can affect the health and maturity of the church.

Some disagreements are matters of Christian liberty, but we are set free from sin to serve one another.

Gal 5:13 For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.

Paul wrote the first letter to the Corinthians because there were disagreements in the church that were causing problems. And like a skilled triage nurse he is assessing the spiritual symptoms for each disagreement and giving the gospel-based response needed to nurse the congregation toward growth in unity and purity.

1 Cor 1:10 Now I exhort you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and the same judgment. For I have been informed concerning you, my brethren, by Chloe's people, that there are quarrels among you.

Paul writes the letter to deal with disagreements in the church. There are divisions and quarrels related to the following:

Disagreement #1: 1 Cor 1:10–4:21 – Division over teachers.

Disagreement #2: 1 Cor 5:1–13 - Tolerating incest (sexual immorality).

Disagreement #3: 1 Cor 6:1–11 - Church members were suing one another.

Disagreement #4: 1 Cor 6:12–20 – Issue of sexual immorality being outside the body.

Disagreement #5: 1 Cor 7:1–40 - Issues related to singleness and marriage.

Disagreement #6: 1 Cor 8:1–11:1 - Issue of food offered to idols.

Disagreement #7: 1 Cor 11:2–16 - Issue of head coverings.

Disagreement #8: 1 Cor 11:17–34 - Issue of misusing the Lord’s Supper.

Disagreement #9: 1 Cor 12:1–14:40 – Issue of spiritual gifts.

Disagreement #10: 1 Cor 15:1–58 – Issue of bodily resurrection for believers.

To address the variety of disagreements, Paul grounds each response in the gospel. So, what can we learn about dealing with disagreements as we look at how Paul beings his response to the last disagreement of the letter in 1 Cor 15:1–6

READ 1 Cor 15:1-6

This morning we will focus on:

2 keys to a Gospel-based response to disagreement

Notice, first Paul deals with the disagreement by asking them to consider what you are holding on to as most important.

Each of us enter disagreements holding tightly to our chest to something that we are convinced is so important.

Your children are having a fight, and they come to you upset, sometimes in tears, sometimes yelling. As they are talking you see their fist-clenched around the toy that they believe is the most important thing in that moment. Carefully guarding it from their brother or sister.

You are having a disagreement with your spouse, and you start the conversation white-knuckled gripped to what matters most to you, you being appreciated in this moment, and your spouse has a death grip on making sure that everything is being handled on their timeline.

You have a disagreement with a brother or sister in Christ because they taught or sang or served in a way different than what you think is best.

Paul deals with disagreements by directing our attention to what we are holding fast to, what you believe is of first importance.

If you are holding fast to anything other than the gospel, it will not lead to the unity nor the maturity that God purposes for the disagreement.

I. Hold Fast to the Gospel

1 Cor 15:1-2a Now I make known to you, brethren, the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received, in which also you stand, by which also you are saved, if you hold fast to the word which I preach to you.

It cannot be overstated how important this is for us when dealing with disagreement. Being involved in some rather challenging conflicts as a Pastor whether between parents with their children, or spouses, or churches going through issues.

The disagreements that seem irreconcilable, where the relational tires are stuck in the mud, as both sides keep talking and talking and talking and the wheels are spinning and spinning and spinning, yet they are not getting any closer to reconciliation because the first and most important thing has not been addressed.

What are they holding fast to?

What is the most important goal for them?

What are they hoping in? What is the ground for their motivation?

Paul reminds us about the gospel before diving into the details of the disagreement.

Paul assumes that the gospel, the good news about Jesus Christ, is the sufficient solution for the disagreement.

He has demonstrated this throughout the letter in the other nine disagreements. The gospel is sufficient for helping the Christians deal with all kinds of issues, and the issue of the bodily resurrection for believers is no exception.

But we must confess, often when we enter a disagreement, we have a critical heart toward God and a critical heart toward others, and we believe that we need something more than the good news of Christ and the kindness that he gives us to please him.

Praise the Lord for his word, that reminds us of the sufficiency of our God. Therefore, Paul has so much hope as he addresses the disagreements in the church.

Despite, so many divisive issues, Paul says…

1 Cor 1:4-6 I thank my God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus, that in everything you were enriched in him, in all speech and all knowledge, even as the testimony concerning Christ was confirmed in you.

Christian you can have so much hope that if you hold fast to the gospel you can deal with disagreements in a way that glorifies God.

“In everything you were enriched in him…in all speech…all knowledge”

All this is “given you in Christ Jesus…who is confirmed in you”

When we are in Christ, what we hold to, what we believe, is not something we came up with…So it is important that we…

Acknowledge that it is not your own (15:1)

1 Cor 15:1 Now I make known to you, brethren, the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received, in which also you stand,

The gospel is the good news of Jesus Christ, and it is a message that humbles us because God reminds us that it comes from him and not us and is something that we receive.

This should lead us to humility to make sure that know the message that we have received and are interpreting the message correctly, since this message comes from God revealed through his word. Even the apostle mentioned that he received this same message and its God’s message that he must preach.

Gal 1:15 But when God, who had set me apart even from my mother's womb and called me through his grace, was pleased to reveal His Son in me so that I might preach Him among the Gentiles.

However, we acknowledge that although the meaning of the gospel is based on the Author’s own interpretation (God).

We can also acknowledge that for many reasons the meaning can be misunderstood, reinterpreted, and even changed by a reader or hearer causing us to look at the same texts of Scripture and disagree.

So, we can expect . . . if we are holding fast to the gospel that…

Disagreement will accompany the gospel (15:2b)

In Ken Sande’s helpful book The Peacemaker [Insert Picture]

on page 30 he provides common causes of conflicts such as 1) misunderstanding from poor communication, 2) Differences in values, goals, expectations, interests. This book could be an excellent resource for you to work through as you navigate some of the conflicts in your life.

Paul knows that the gospel offers different values, has a different goal, and results in different expectation and interests. So, there will always be some who misinterpret the gospel, and will not continue to hold fast and believe in it.

1 Cor 15:2b If you hold fast the word which I preached to you, unless you believed in vain.

Again, Paul assumes that there are those who disagree over the gospel, and it will have implications…unless you have believed in vain,

John MacArthur’s commentary helped me clarify this to ensure that I did not misunderstand…He describes it this way…

“Paul's qualifying phrase- if you hold fast the word which I preach to you, unless you believed in vain- does not teach the true believers are in danger of losing their salvation, but it is a warning against non-saving faith. So a clearer rendering would be, ‘… If you hold fast what I preach to you, unless your faith is worthless or unless you believed without effect.’” [MacArthur, 1Corinthians, pg. 399]

Disagreement will come when we misunderstand the gospel such as by clinging to false teaching, which has serious consequences related to salvation. The gospel reveals that through turning from sins and trusting in Jesus Christ who was crucified and resurrected for our sins to reconcile us to God, we can be saved. Some disagreements threaten and distort that message.

Some disagreements do not impact the message of the gospel and how we are saved

but still have consequences on our maturity and growth as Christians and unity with in relationship with other Christians.

This is why it is so important that we view the gospel in the correct light, In Paul’s Second Letter to Timothy, he repeats his call for us to hold fast. You will loosen your grip on whatever you are clinging to a in a disagreement and tighten your grip on the gospel when you understand how the gospel…

Truth is a treasure to protect (2 Tim 1:14)

2 Tim 1:14 Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in us, the treasure which has been entrusted to you.

Not only are we to hold fast to the gospel, but we are also called to guard it like a treasure.

One of my children has started a treasure collection in their room. If you entered the room, you would probably be very disappointed to find out this child’s treasures are random business cards picked up at stores, marketing brochures that are found at the airport or bus station, papers from random bulletin boards.

Nearly every place we go is the question. Can I keep this?

In other words, can I take this perceived treasure home and guard it?

Something is a treasure because of its perceived value. You and I probably disagree about the perceived value of my child. But we had better take serious the perception of the Creator of the universe and what he perceived as valuable.

“For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

“He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” Rom 8:32

From God’s perception, he wants us to consider the surpassing value of knowing Jesus Christ as Lord. Everything else is rubbish in comparison to gaining Christ and having a righteousness that comes by faith in Christ.

Something is a treasure not only because of its perceived value, but also its uniqueness.

The Hope Diamond is one of a kind, the Mona Lisa one of a kind…

Well, when we were on our family vacation and exit the airport, what does this my child treasure seeker find at the airport… [Insert Picture – Travel Brochure Rack]…Definitely not one of kind…

These are not unique, grab one, and it will easily be replaced by another. Most of these get thrown in the trash, after their usefulness runs out.

The Gospel is unique – As we learned at VBS, there is only one road to heaven – The gospel teaches there is only one way based on the work of Jesus Christ alone, we cannot add any value to that treasure and like treasures that are locked in vaults or watched by teams of security, the treasure of the gospel needs to be guarded, because God reveals the value of the gospel to us.

So, look at what you are protecting and guarding in your disagreements and consider how the gospel is a greater treasure.

Is it your reputation? How is Christ’s reputation and approval better to cling to?

Are you trying to guard having peace? How is the peace of Christ better?

When you are guarding the gospel in a disagreement it gives you the most solid position to stand in the disagreement.

Those who believe can stand on truth

1 Cor 15:1b …the gospel which I preached to you, which you also you received, in which you also use stand…

That is the beauty of the gospel, the treasure which we are to guard, that it will also guard us as well.

When we stand for the gospel, we can expect disagreements, in fact we can expect attacks upon us as we stand guard.

First, we can stand firm, because we do not need to rely on our own strength to stand guard…it is…

1. Based on God’s Work

Right before telling us to guard the treasure, Paul shares that

2 Tim 1:12 For this reason, I also suffer these things but I am not ashamed; For I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.

And as we deal with disagreements, we can also trust that he will enable to accomplish what is needed…

1. Based on our Spirit-empowered work

2 Tim 1:14 Guard, through the Holy Spirit who dwells in you…

In giving us the gospel, Jesus needed to leave us for a time, but He promised the one who would teach us and guide us as the Helper, the Holy Spirit dwelling in us. We are not alone to stand guard and we are not unequipped. We are resourced by God against a world that does seek to suppress the truth of God in unrighteousness.

Rom 1:18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness.

The Spirit will help you to stand in the treasure of the gospel like Paul and guard the precious message so that you can share clearly with others….

1 Cor 15:3b Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that He was buried, and that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures.

So, the first key to a gospel-based response to disagreements is holding fast to the gospel…then secondly…

II. Assess what is of first importance

1 Cor 15:3a For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received…[the gospel].

Not all disagreements have the same impact

Not all discussions, not all debates and not all arguments are of the same level of importance.

I am going to throw a number of topics on the table, not for the purpose of arguing for the answers but to see how, in the light of the gospel, that they have differing impacts.

Let’s start in the church:

As part of our strategic ministry plan we are going to consider several updates at Faith East…what color carpet? There might be some disagreements about that one.

Should we do a Trunk or Treat Ministry? While we all look at the Scriptures and notice we should love and do good toward our neighbors and let others see our good works that they may see our Father in heaven. The disagreement that could come here is over the means in which we seek to obey that command in our time and place.

Community Centers or Worship Halls? Our church family looked at the Scriptures that emphasize our worship to the Lord as a gathered church on Sunday as well as the commands to love and serve our neighbors and decided that we build multi-use facilities that could be used both on Sundays to serve the church gathering as well as throughout the week. Some might disagree with the “philosophy of ministry” the way in which we as Christians seek to live out and obey those, Scriptures.

Marriage, Divorce and Re-marriage? Like Paul addresses in 1 Cor 7. We agree that there are permissible grounds for divorce such as abandonment…the list could go on…

Well in each of these scenarios, believers we not operating out of sinful desires, but praying, giving attention to God’s word, and are seeking to please God, but still might come to a disagreement.

We must consider the impacts of what we are believing each of these disagreements so that we can assess what is of first importance and then…

Respond based on gospel impact – Theological Triage

Just as ER nurses and doctors must decide which patients to treat first, Theological Triage helps us to see what areas are of first importance to protect and treat because they have the most devastating impact.

When we find ourselves facing a disagreement, how we respond and how will we determine the position to stand upon?

It must be weighed against their impacts on the gospel…

Two groups that want different colors for the new carpet – What is the gospel impact?

Certainly, carpet color is not going to impact who gets saved in the church? But maybe it does impact how we are loving our brother and sister in Christ.

Do I have to get my way? Am I entitled to choose the color?

But what about a disagreement over believer’s Baptism by immersion?

If someone teaches the physical act of baptism saves you? This impacts the gospel message.

Paul described the gospel preached as of first importance.

What would that say about other topics, other doctrines, and practices in the church? Well, it implies that there are other things of importance, but lesser importance.

Al Mohler summarized this for the doctrines of the church in a simple diagram [Update diagram to include millennial views in Level 2] …

For example – if I am speaking with someone who says that they believe in Jesus but that because he was just a man and not fully God.

If this is my disagreement, I have no choice but to disagree and hold fast to the gospel – ultimately, because they are believing a different gospel, I cannot affirm their theology or their salvation for they have believed in vain.

What about Infant Baptism, for example in the Presbyterian church, and Baptism by Immersion as we practice here at Faith Church.

I must assess the things of first importance – does their belief in baptism change the way that we view salvation by grace alone through faith alone? Change the way I view God or the Scriptures? No. Then…though I would not choose to pastor a church, or I would not choose to become a member of that specific church (Level 2, difference in the church life) but serve with them in gospel ministry (issues related to level 1).

After considering the gospel impact, then we….

Respond with a gospel witness

In a disagreement we want the gospel to impact not only the truth of what we believe, or how evaluate the issue, but also our attitude in the response.

When Paul addresses the disagreement about the resurrection of the bodies of believers in corrects them in a manner that pleases Christ and points to the truthful witness that…

….Christ died for our Sins…

When you remember that Christ died for our sins, how will that change the way in which you see the other person?

• Now I can see what we have in common before I focus on where we disagree. I am a Sinner in need of a Savior – so are they.

• Christ forgave me while I was still his enemy – now he calls me friend – but even if they are still an enemy of Christ – He calls me to love my enemy…

• Even if they have sinned against me – because Christ has forgiven me, more than I can even imagine, He calls me to forgive this person regardless of what they have done to me.

• With Christ’s sacrifice in mind, I can choose to love the other person even when we disagree.

….He was raised on the third Day…

• Christ’s victory over death gives me assurance of eternal life that he offers since Christ has power over death. So, there is eternal hope for what is to come

• Just as Jesus was raised from the dead in a glorified body believers also will be raised with imperishable bodies.

• I do not have to be victorious in every disagreement – because He ash already been victorious at the cross

And what if in all of this – The disagreement keeps attacking me and even attacks the truth

…According to the Scriptures…

• Paul explains that the gospel of Christ’s death and resurrection for sinners was promised according to the Word of God in Scriptures.

• Paul appeals to the Scriptures and the witness of the gospel as the authority for addressing the disagreement over the bodily resurrection.

• Our source of truth in God’s Word, it has the authority, not the opinions and preferences of people.

• Often in disagreements, we can spend lots of time talking about our thoughts and feelings, and very little time focused on the Scriptures.

• As you seek to address a disagreement have you been thoughtful to search the Scriptures for what God’s word teaches regarding this issue that you believe could be a God honoring gospel response to the situation before talking about how the disagreement made you feel.

….He appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. After that He appeared to more than 500…

• Notice, Paul again emphasizes the truth of the testimony of the Apostles and others who witnessed Christ as he prepares to address the disagreement, and takes the issue of resurrection of the bodies as important because of it’s connection to the gospel and the resurrection of Christ.

• No matter how convincing the argument from those who disagree with gospel and the truths of Scripture. Hold fast to the gospel, for it historically verified by many eye-witnesses.

• The gospel is true, and the gospel has the power unto salvation for everyone who believes.

As you consider responding to a disagreement, like Paul consider how you can connect the issue to the matters of the first importance in the gospel.

1. How does this disagreement reveal the problem of sin and why we need Christ to atone for sin to forgive us? Consider the Cross.
2. How does this disagreement relate to the hope of the resurrection of Christ? Consider the resurrection
3. How is this disagreement addressed according to the Scriptures?

[Other application if time allows]

Hold Fast to the gospel truth so that you can stand firm in the midst of disagreements, and choose your response based on the things of first importance such that the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ so that you will grow in spiritual purity and unity.