Hope for Wives in Suffering

Welcome back – It is so good to see all of your bright smiling faces here having had your full night’s sleep as compared to last week…

In preparing for today’s message, I spent time going back over the passages we have already covered to make sure I had the right context in mind for today, because as you will see, it would be very easy for us to bring our own thoughts and opinions into how we want to interpret and apply today’s passage…

In studying the earlier passages – they bring out a challenging topic that we might prefer to store away with old sermons and just move forward in the book, but we can’t…

Peter starts by giving us this truth…

1 Peter 1:6 In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,

- One of the benefits and challenges of being made in the image of God, and being remade in the image of Christ is both the ability, and the responsibility, of thinking different kinds of biblical thoughts simultaneously…

And it shapes how we will look at Chapters 2 and 3 because my mind naturally wants to fight again the apparent contradiction here…to rejoice at the same time that I am being distressed. My mind struggles on its own to answer the question “how can that be?”

Am I really called to rejoice when I am stressed out by the trials of life?

When faced with suffering, when I am distressed by various trials – personally, I want them to go away – why? Because I can’t see how this could be good for me…

I can say that without shame because I know that I am not alone…not only am I confident that some of you might think that way too – it is the thinking of the world…I see it in the differences between how worldly counsel and biblical counseling address suffering…

The world’s solution – do whatever is necessary to either make the suffering stop or at least change the way I feel…

But God’s word would challenge us to think differently…as such, Can we apply that in the area of suffering?

Consider an event that is very fresh for our Faith North Family…

It was just last Christmas that we were celebrating with our dear brother Scott and then suddenly before New Year’s Eve – He was gone. No warning and we were suddenly mourning his unexpected death along with Marcia and the Beutler family and friends…

And in that time of suffering, we were reminded to think different kinds of biblical thoughts simultaneously…

Romans 12:15 - Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 - But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope.

[Kari – please have the verses appear together]

We grieved the loss of our brother in a time that was terribly sad while at the same time we rejoice with him based on the biblical truth about his eternal home…

Peter walks this out practically in several other areas of our lives that we have already touched on in earlier sermons to help us see that we are able to think different biblical thoughts at the same time to understand how we can live in a way pleasing to God when our hearts want to take us in a different direction…

Consider - What about when we may be suffering under an unjust government?

Do we just have one responsibility? Or do we have many?

Peter gives us a command that would apply to this situation…

1 Peter 2:13–15 - Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

Can I simply choose to not pay my taxes because I do not agree with all of the ways that the state and federal governments are spending my tax dollars. No give unto Caesar what is due to Caesar…

Then last week we studied another call to submission…

1 Peter 2:18 - Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable.

What if you feel the assignments at work are unjust and you are carrying more burden than your co-worker, or you are even doing the boss’s job and he takes the credit – does that mean we can entirely discount what Scripture says about submission in the workplace? That is hard to hear…

But one of the benefits and challenges of being made in the image of God and being re-made in the image of Christ is both the ability and the responsibility, of thinking different kinds of biblical thoughts simultaneously…and being given the power, through the Holy Spirit to do what God is saying…

Today we are going to begin to look at how these principles then extend into Christian marriage…

With that in mind – Please open with me to 1 Peter 3 – that is on page 181 in the back of the bible in your chairs.

- our theme this year is Hope for Everyday Life

- to develop that idea, we’re spending the early part of the year doing a verse-by-verse study of 1 Peter…called Hope in Everyday Suffering…

1 Peter 1:6 - In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials,

Remembering that in Everyday life – we are able to rejoice even in the face of various trials…

This letter would hardly be needed if there were no trials – we would not have to be called to submit to the authorities in our lives if the authorities were perfectly acting in accordance with God’s Word…we would want to be there…

But we don’t live in that perfect world – we live in a world with imperfect authorities.

and when you’re suffering under imperfect authority…there are still biblical principles you have to consider…sometimes thinking different kinds of biblical thoughts simultaneously…

and so as we turn to consider this principle in the context of Christian marriage, today we will begin by talking about Hope for Wives in Suffering…and Lord willing next week we’ll pivot to the husbands…

Now please don’t think we are addressing wives first because we think that is a bigger need – it is simply the order in Peter’s letter…

- A couple thoughts before we read the passage…

- what about a person who would say – well, I’m single – what should I do with this material?... here are 3 quick responses…

1. Apply the principles to other relationships you’re currently in.

2. Pray for those in our church who are married now.

3. Be prepared, God may surprise you with a spouse someday.

And husbands – don’t check out on me – you need to know this too – NOT so that you can remind your wife what I said, but so that you can properly apply this along with all that we will learn next week.

One last issue before we read…

As we talk about the issue of submission and wives, some will find the topic controversial… truthfully, much of this book is… because of the way that culture thinks today. But I do not want to get lost in a monologue about my opinions over culture

but rather in response to culture –consider, how do we build a theology of the role of the husband, and the role of the wife…and how do verses like these fit into this process…

From a 10,000 foot view, let me show you the big picture of how we come to the conclusions about How we apply the Scriptures in our lives…

- there are two very important implications of this for what we’re doing today…

1. Don’t be afraid to let all of what God’s Word says on a subject inform your belief system…if it is all true – we do not need to be afraid of any of it…

2. Don’t focus exclusively on one passage to the neglect of everything else Scripture says on the topic…I can’t choose one verse over another because I agree with one and I don’t like rest

Add repeat slide of Hope for Wives in Suffering

- with all of that in mind, let’s read the very Word of God – read 1 Peter 3:1-6

- so we’re talking about Hope for Wives in Suffering…and with the time we have remaining, let’s look for 3 actions to guide wives when times are hard.

- now you might say – why would we use the word “suffering” in the same sentence as “marriage”?...

here’s 2 questions…

- do we live in a sin-cursed world/culture?...

- do married people live with an imperfect spouse?...

- Also, think about the original audience…Believers had to flee their homes…they are suffering as a result of their external circumstances….then on top of that…

- they have imperfect spouses…and often those imperfections are magnified during periods of external suffering…

- so where’s the hope?...in asking the Holy Spirit to help you be God’s kind of person and trusting Him for the results…

- 3 actions to guide wives when times are hard…First, we need to…

I. Embrace the Call to Submission.

- the primary point here is not difficult to grasp –

1 Peter 3:1 - …you wives, be submissive to your own husbands…

Now if you are thinking, Peter must have been some kind of chauvinist…this is word for word what Paul taught as well…

Ephesians 5:22 - Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

God’s word is consistent on this…and in both letters, wives were not the first to be commanded to submit…

Remember…

A. Remembering the context that both men and women are responsible to live submissively

- we’ve seen that already…

- 1 Peter 2:13 - Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority,

-- men and women were called upon to live submissively before their authorities…

- 1 Peter 2:18 - Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable

-- men and women were called upon to live submissively in the workplace…

And let’s not forget that our Lord Jesus Christ chose to live in submission to His Father…

- 1 Peter 2:21 - For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,

- that’s why the very first phrase in chapter 3 verse 1 is...

- 1 Peter 3:1 - In the same way…

In the same way as what?

- answer – in the same way citizens are to relate to our imperfect government…

- in the same way servants are to relate to their masters…or employees to employers…

- in the same way our Savior related to the unjust treatment He received…

- God has given wives the calling and opportunity to submit to the leadership of their husbands…

- but before we get to far down the road, let’s be sure we’ve defined what this means…

B. Understanding the meaning of submission

- this is the same original word we’ve observed earlier in the book…

- its huppostasso…a military word - to line up in rank under.

- in any human relationship, someone has to carry the responsibility, to be called to lead

- If everyone were only responsible for themselves – how much chaos do you think that would cause…

- Think about the original audience…they were scattered…meaning at some point, they had to decide where they would go because of the persecution…

- What if the wife believes they should move to Pontus because she has family there, but the husband believes the works is better in Galatia?...

- then what?…well, hopefully, they will have an open discussion about the pro’s and con’s – and hopefully the husband, as part of his responsibility to learn about his wife’s needs and desires (more next week on that) and his desire to fulfill her preferences whenever possible…will listen carefully and thoughtfully to what she has to say…

- but ultimately he’s going to have to decide…and if his decision is not the wife’s preference in that particular instance…then the wife’s privilege and responsibility is to follow her husband’s leadership…

- and this is where the “in the same way” phrase becomes so important…

- because in so doing, while responding in a God-pleasing manner when she did not get what she wanted…she is being molded into the image of Jesus Christ…

- 1 Peter 2:23 - and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;

- now is this in the Bible because the husband’s opinions are always better than hers?...

not at all – men and women are equal in value in God’s economy –

Galatians 3:28 - There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

That concept alone would have blown up first century twitter accounts…

- this is why often times in Christian marriage – the wisest thing a husband can do is delegate all sorts of responsibility to his wife in areas where she is more gifted…

- I know a number of great Christian couples where the wife handles all the finances…and the husband will say – she’s better with that area of life than I am…

- that doesn’t mean he’s abdicating his role…nor does that mean she’s usurping his…it’s just an agreement they’ve come to…

- also, Regarding how we understand the meaning of submission - I assume it goes without saying…that we’re not talking about a husband asking a wife to do something that is clearly sinful…Husband, we don’t get to change the rules…no human entity has absolute authority…

- Acts 5:29 - But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.

Wives get to claim this statement too…

Let me give you a couple of examples…

– let’s say a husband and wife file their taxes jointly…and the husband lies about the amount of charitable contributions they made last year in order to get a higher tax deduction than they should receive…and then he slides the tax return over to his wife and tells her to sign it…

- does 1 Peter 3:1-6 mandate that she must sign a fraudulent tax return?...absolutely not…she has to obey God rather than her husband in that matter…

Here’s one that’s harder…

- what if a husband wants to start a new business…but in order to do so, the couple would have to withdraw all the money they have saved for retirement, mortgage their home to it’s limits, empty all their savings accounts, and take out an unsecured loan from family or friends…

and the only way he can take these steps is to have his wife’s signature on all these transactions?...

- does 1 Peter 3:1-6 command that she sign?...

- we’d probably need more specific facts…but I’m not sure the answer to that is yes…

which brings up a very important point –

- if you’re not sure if/how this passage (or any passage applies in a given situation), why not seek counsel from your deacon or one of our pastors?...

- there’s nothing wrong with admitting that you need help…I need it…I don’t know many people who don’t…

- now, what if the husband is not behaving in a very godly fashion? But NOT asking his wife to sin too...that issue is clearly addressed in this passage, isn’t it?...

- 1 Peter 3:1 - In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,

- what does “without a word” mean?...

- without nagging…without incessantly focusing on his failures…

- And we shape our understanding by looking at more Scripture…1 Corinthians 7 makes the same argument…

1 Corinthians 7:13–14 - And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

- we could say it this way – biblical submission has a powerful apologetic value…

- and we have men and women in our church family who are in this situation…where they are married to someone who does not know the Lord…

- but the unbelieving partner is “pleased to dwell” with their Christian spouse…meaning, at the minimum, committed to a civil, monogamous relationship…

- and our brothers and sisters in that situation are doing the best they can to be a godly spouse even when it’s hard…why?

- because it pleases God,

- because it helps them become more like Christ,

- and it puts their spouse and children in the best possible position to repent and believe in Christ themselves…

- now let me pause and be very clear,

- we’re certainly not talking about any kind of physical abuse…God’s Word does NOT command those who are vulnerable to remain in an unsafe place…

- After considering safety - the exact nature of the conditions in the home may have to be evaluated on a case-by-case basis…to determine whether that person is obligated by the Lord to stay in that marriage long-term…

- This is not something new to Faith, it is not a response to current events…

- This view goes back over 50 years for our church when it was Pastor Goode who led us to adopt a “2 grounds for biblical divorce” position…

- that was very controversial during those days…because most conservative churches believed there were no grounds for divorce…

- in other words – you have a passage like 1 Peter 3:1-6, and you didn’t have anything else…

- and Pastor Goode’s point was – there is such a thing as a biblical divorce…for adultery according to Matthew 5 and 19, and desertion here in 1 Cor. 7…

At the time, he was criticized for having what some said was a weak view of marriage…

But Pastor Goode and Doc Smith would say no – it’s the opposite – mandating that a person stay in a marriage regardless of the treatment he or she is receiving is a weak view of marriage…

- but that goes back to how we build our theology – it must be based on all of God’s Word

- Living this out, neither husband nor wife can say “I don’t think my spouse is doing right – so, I don’t have to do right either…”

- therefore one of the take-aways here is – if you need help in determining how Scripture informs your specific situation…there are all kinds of people who would be happy to sit down and try to sort all of that out…

And before we move on from God’s call for wives to embrace the call to submission…

Husbands –ask yourself – am I being submissive to the God-given leadership in my life so that my wife and children have a clear model to follow?

Don’t try to answer that yourself – humble yourself and ask your wife if there are changes you can make to make it easier for her to follow you…

Wives – this passage is pretty clear…ask yourself as well - how would you evaluate yourself in this area?...

- I know the world would scoff at these concepts…but will we choose to love the world, or will we choose to love God’s Word?

Psalm 119:89 - Forever, O Lord, Your word is settled in heaven.

- why not ask your husband what you could do to bring yourself more in line with what Scripture teaches here…

Now, if we have come to the conclusion that we have to agree with command to submit, but underneath we are saying “Fine – but I don’t have to like it…let’s look further at what God has to say for we are called to…

II. Pursue the Heart of Submission

Insincere submission is not submission at all.

- the attitude that says -- “I’ll comply on the outside but I’ll chafe on the inside” is a far cry from what Peter is describing.

- a submissive life is borne out of a submissive heart.

- so how do you do what Peter is commanding?

1. Don’t overemphasize issues of the outer man.

- there’s nothing wrong with braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or wearing dresses…

- but if that is the focus of one’s life, the focus is misplaced.

- Do you spend as much time getting your heart ready to go out as you do making sure you look good?

then

2. Bring thoughts and ideas into your heart and life that make biblical submission easier and more likely.

- if you feed on rebellion, that will eventually come out…so what can we feed on instead?

- Many women in our church would say – this is one of the reasons I’m cultivating godly friendships…or why I’m in a small group Bible study…I want the teaching and the accountability…

3. When you struggle being submissive, ask, “what am I allowing to go through my heart”?

Because it is not all about the outward actions or the outward appearance, but we must consider what is happening in the “hidden person of the heart

Ask God to reveal to you what am I wanting? What am I believing that is making it difficult for me to be submissive to my husband?

And know that it is God who sees the hidden person of the heart and we grow in hope because of how He sees us…

Be convinced of its lasting value.

- 1 Peter 3:4 - but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

- Peter says that a gentle and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God and no one, not even your imperfect husband can take that away from you, for it is imperishable.

- I understand that the world would scoff at what we’re discussing today…but Christians long ago made the decision that we’re not living for the applause of the world…

- we want to live in a way that is pleasing in the sight of God.

- and let me pause, I need to say this morning that

- I believe many women in our church family live this way.

- I didn’t prepare this message this morning thinking…they need this – I’m gonna stick God’s Word to ‘em

- from my vantage point, many, many wives seem to be in submission to their husbands and happy about it.

- So I say… Lord, thank you for doing a transforming work of grace in each person’s heart because a submissive lifestyle is only possible through the grace of God.

- Only through God – So I have to ask…friends, do you have a personal relationship with God that makes it possible for you to change and grow even when it is hard?

All of us - Do you struggle to submit to those others in authority?

A heart unwilling to submit may be a heart that wants to believe “I know best and I will do what I believe is right”

• Faith North, can you see how an unsubmissive heart is the same as Adam and Eve’s heart in the garden

• the unsubmissive heart brought sin into the world

• and with sin came death.

• The wage for our unsubmissive and rebellious heart is death…

• and with death waiting for us,

• we are all in need of a Savior,

• the one with a truly submissive heart who chose to submit to His Father’s will to take our death for us that we might receive eternal life in Him…

- Is today the day that God has shown you your rebellious and unsubmissive heart?

- Is God using a message on the topic of submission to draw you to himself?

If your heart has questions about any of this – please come see any of the Pastors to unpack God’s Word for the truth we all need…

Because when we choose to pursue a submissive heart – Peter shares an unexpected blessing that we can…

III. Enjoy the Freedom of Submission

- It would be easy to look past verses 5 and 6 saying “yup, I got this…” but there is more…

- Peter speaks about the holy women of old as a way of encouraging us…

- his point is, other people have lived this way and God has been pleased…

- Peter is trying to give his people hope by telling them that they’re not the first generation to struggle with such matters…

- and if God helped them…God will help you.

Look at the encouragement here…

- 1 Peter 3:6 - just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

- now I know that there may be a few snickers when we read about Sarah calling Abraham “lord”…and I am certainly not saying that that’s what a Christian wife should call her husband today…I don’t even ask Kathy to call me Captain…

- but for anyone who would laugh at this verse ,,, consider where the opposite spirit or attitude would lead us…

- authority in our day and age is often ridiculed, or undermined, and disdained.

- and look where that leads us…

- it is good for us to get a healthy dose of the other side of the equation.

What Peter wants us to know, and more importantly what God wants us to know, is that there is freedom and security in following God’s principles…

- Wives, when you joyfully submit to your husband,

- all of us, when we joyfully submit to the authorities God has placed over us

- there is freedom in knowing that when I stand before God, and we all will, he will not ask me about the outcome of the decision that was made, he will simply ask did you follow my Word, did you joyfully submit? Yes? Well done, good and faithful servant…

There is freedom in following God’s Word, in embracing and pursuing a Submissive Heart and freedom in knowing that even our ability to do that is only possible because of the completed work of Jesus on the Cross

And that is why we are going to conclude today’s service by Remembering Christ’s greatest act of submission through celebrating the Lord’s Table together…

Men if you will come forward to serve our family…

Let me just share a few things as we prepare to celebrate the Lord together…

Here at Faith, we practice open communion…that means that you do not have to be a member of faith Church to participate, you just need to meet the two requirements that are outlined in the Word of God

- First, that you are a Christian, a Follower of Jesus Christ meaning that there is a definite time in your life where you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ to pay the debt for your sin and that you have chosen to make Him the Lord of your life.

Second that you have confessed any known sin to the Lord – 1 Corinthians 11 discusses that so that you are able to participate in what the Bible would call a worthy manner…

If you meet those requirements, I want to invite you to join with us as we celebrate…

We find direction for this in 1 Corinthians 11:23

Read 1 Cor 11:23-24a

^“For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread; and when He had given thanks, He broke it

Pray – Give Thanks for the Bread…

Deacons: Serve the Bread

Read 1 Cor 11:23-24

For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread; ²⁴ and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.”

Read 1 Cor 11:25a

In the same way He took the cup also

Pray for the Cup –

Deacons: Serve the Wine

Read 1 Cor 11:25-26

In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” ²⁶ For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to gather, to worship, to remember the Lord and to learn from Him that we might love the Lord, submitting to Him first and trusting Him as we choose to submit in our roles in this life…

Join me as we close in prayer and then David will come up for our closing announcements…