Just Between the Two of You

September 30, 2006

CONNECTING with my Lord
How would you describe the way the Lord confronted the following people in His life and why was there a difference between each of these? What lessons can we learn?
Pharisees:
How? Very confrontive, focused on the truth, direct to the point
Why? They knew the Law but twisted it to their advantage, and were self righteous about it all!
Publicans/Sinners:
How? More gentle, but truthful; He ate with them and reached out to them
Why? They did what they did in ignorance; they needed a Savior
Disciples: (specifically, Peter)
How? Rebuked them sternly, but not like the Pharisees; He had hope for them to change, and encouraged them to do so
Why? They were part of the Body – He loved them and was molding and shaping their lives for His glory and to fulfill the mission He was about to give them (Mt. 28:19-20)
Lesson we need to learn from His life? We confront people in different ways, and for different reasons. The truth is always at the heart of the correction, and the goal is to help the others change!
CONNECTING into my Life
Have I set an atmosphere/pattern of allowing others to lovingly communicate a concern or correction they might see in my life? How so? When was the last time this happened?

What can I do in order to better receive constructive correction from my others (spouse, an authority, a bro/sis in Christ)?

What should I do in order to give better constructive correction to my others in my life (spouse, authority, bro/sis in Christ)?
CONNECTING into my Church!
Q & Prayer Time: What will happen to FBC is we ignore this principle? Pray for our church leadership and our church family!

Is it DAMAGING your relationship (tearing it down, bitterness)?
Is it hurting OTHERS? (Luke 17:2-3; 1 Cor. 5:6)
Is it hurting the OFFENDER?
• James 5:19-20 My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
5. Special considerations:
1) First get the log out of your own eye.
2) Approach non-Christians gently.
3) Respect those in authority.
4) Deal cautiously with abuse.
5) Go tentatively…go repeatedly.
END OF DVD – Open Discussion/Small Groups

CONNECTING It – Group Discussion
What thoughts come to mind when you hear the word correction”?
[various answers] harsh, fear, pride, regret, stubborness

Why is correction commonly viewed as negative rather than positive?
[various answers] usually because we don’t view it from God’s perspective – we look at it through our eyes, and particularly how SOMEONE ELSE responds to our correcting them; we don’t think we need it, deserve it, etc.

What are some possible motivating factors or even ‘idols of the heart’ that would keep a person from confronting a person face to face?
[various answers]

Fear of Man: Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man brings a snare, But he who trusts in the LORD will be exalted.
Approval junky (want to please people vs. the glorifying God) - Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

CONNECTING to the Word – Small Groups
 Read Matthew 5:21-26 and answer the following:
- What is God’s view of having anger against a brother?
[Better be cautious and careful, there are serious consequences for not handling problems]

- What is/are the main point(s) of this passage?
[Handle your problems between you and your brother/sister in a timely manner AND before you come to worship]

Read the following verses, and discuss the implications/lessons to learn from this wisdom literature God gave to us!

 Proverbs 10:17 He is on the path of life who heeds instruction, but he who ignores reproof goes astray.
Lesson: If you don’t listen to others who correct you, life will get hard, and you will wonder from the wisdom of God!

 Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.
Lesson: Simple, you’re stupid if you hate reproof!

 Proverbs 15:10 Grievous punishment is for him who forsakes the way; he who hates reproof will die.
Lesson: Hating reproof brings death – this could be in different forms (could be physical in some situations, in others, it could mean the death of a relationship, an opportunity to serve, a job, a family, etc.)

 Proverbs 15:32 He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.
Lesson: If we’ll listen to reproof, we’ll learn and understand – we’ll be wiser; it actually helps us!

[Homework Assignment]
 Read 2 Samuel 11 for important context information. Then read 2 Samuel 12:1-15 and answer the following:
- Write a sequential “timeline” of the interaction between Nathan and David (verse(s), person, what happened):
- Note observations about Nathan’s confronting of David in chapter 12—Nathan’s approach, words, knowledge, attitude, objective, etc.:
- Note observations about David’s reaction(s) to Nathan’s confrontation:

Why?

Publicans/Sinners:
How?

Why?

Disciples: (specifically, Peter)
How?

Why?

Lesson we need to learn from His life?
CONNECTING into my Life
Have I set an atmosphere/pattern of allowing others to lovingly communicate a concern or correction they might see in my life? How so? When was the last time this happened?

What can I do in order to better receive constructive correction from my others (spouse, an authority, a bro/sis in Christ)?

What should I do in order to give better constructive correction to my others in my life (spouse, authority, bro/sis in Christ)?

CONNECTING into my Church!

Q & Prayer Time: What will happen to FBC is we ignore this principle? Pray for our church leadership and our church family!

Just Between the Two of You
Review: (1) Glorifying God (2) Getting the Log Out of your Eye
Key Principle: Constructive correction is a sign of genuine love!
1. God calls us to lovingly ________________ one another.
• Matthew 18:15 If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
• Gal. 6:1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are
spiritual should restore him gently.
2. Correction means more than _________________.
Correction is NOT about telling people they are wrong & need to change!
• What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? Mt. 18:12-14 (cf. 18:21-35; Gal. 6:1)
Goal: Restoration of the relationship!
3. Sooner or later, talk ___________ to __________.
• Gen. 32-33 – Jacob [Not Joseph] & Esau – Note: This does not imply that the people he sent knew anything about the specifics of the situation!
• Gen. 50:15-21 – Joseph and his brothers (came face to face eventually)
• 2 Sam. 14:24 - David and Absalom never came face to face
• Matt. 5:23-24)
Why? We are image bearers of God and we must take responsibility!
4. Go when someone’s sins are too _______________ to overlook.
Is it dishonoring God in a _____________ way? (Rom. 2:21-24)
Examples:
Is it ___________ your relationship (tearing it down, bitterness)?
Is it hurting _____________? (Luke 17:2-3; 1 Cor. 5:6)
Is it hurting the ____________?
• James 5:19-20 My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
5. Special considerations:
1) First get the log out of your own eye.
2) Approach non-Christians gently.
3) Respect those in authority.
4) Deal cautiously with abuse.
5) Go tentatively…go repeatedly.

CONNECTING It – Group Discussion
What thoughts come to mind when you hear the word “correction”?

Why is correction commonly viewed as negative rather than positive?

What are some possible motivating factors or even ‘idols of the heart’ that would keep a person from confronting a person face to face?

CONNECTING to the Word – Small Groups
 Read Matthew 5:21-26 and answer the following:

- What is God’s view of having anger against a brother?

- What is/are the main point(s) of this passage?

Read the following verses, and discuss the implications/lessons to learn from this wisdom literature God gave to us!

 Proverbs 10:17 He is on the path of life who heeds instruction, but he who ignores reproof goes astray.
Lesson:
 Proverbs 12:1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.
Lesson:

 Proverbs 15:10 Grievous punishment is for him who forsakes the way; he who hates reproof will die.
Lesson:

 Proverbs 15:32 He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.
Lesson:

- Note observations about Nathan’s confronting of David in chapter 12—Nathan’s approach, words, knowledge, attitude, objective, etc.:

- Note observations about David’s reaction(s) to Nathan’s confrontation:

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